Taking a step back in your life to reflect

“Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me! Why is my reflection someone I don’t know”. As soon as I thought of this idea for a post I sat down to write. This song popped in my head because it completely fits the theme of today’s topic. Which is taking a step back in your life to reflect.

Taking a step back

When I first started on my Personal Growth journey a year ago. I found myself unconsciously taking steps back. I didn’t realize it till yesterday when I was commenting on another blogger’s post. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I want to share how taking a step back really helped me see the bigger picture. Not in one particular area, but from all aspects of my life.

So let’s take a step back hop in the helicopter and take a look at your life from an aerial view. Let’s see if we can see some problem areas we need to work on.

6 aspects of your life

I have talked about these many times before in other posts. However, if you do not know there are 6 aspects of self-improvement. Everything that is going on in your life falls into one of these six categories.

Mental – How is my brain doing/functioning. Am I in a stable headspace?
Emotional- How are my reactions to everyday life? Am I all over the place?
Spiritual- This could be your relationship god, however, I chose to have this aspect mean my spiritual being. How is my soul feeling? Am I grounded?
Physical- Is my body physically active? Am I moving my body like I should be or am I being a potato?
Social- Who am I surrounding myself with? Do they have my best interest at heart? Am I with people who make me feel worse about myself? Do I love my job? My environment
Moral- What direction is my compass going in? Am I stepping on the people around me to get where I want to be? Am I being the type of person I want to be?

I took a step back from one or two at a time. Never do all six at once. That’s just asking for a MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

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Taking a step back Mentally

I had to quit putting it off and face myself. I needed to take a step back to really ask myself those questions I did not want to answer. Better yet, the answers I didn’t want to admit to myself.

Every other week I was in some kind of a funk. I would be all of the emotions in the span of 24 hours. That’s when I turned to journaling, but I didn’t know where to start.

So I just put pen to paper and wrote down everything that popped in my head. Even if it didn’t make sense or pertain to me. I just needed everything out of my head.

Getting everything out of my head somehow relieved the pressure in my head. A definitely took a weight off of my shoulders. I could breathe a little bit easier.

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Taking a step back Emotionally

I was emotional as a child as we all are but as I got older something happened. I would only get really upset if someone I was really close to said something hurtful.

As a teen in my “me against the world” phase, I wouldn’t let things bother me. Sarcasm and being mean became a defense mechanism. But again if you were close to me and said something mean it would bother me. Others, I was unphased by their cruelness.

I tell you this because now as an adult I feel everything wholeheartedly. As I have gotten older I have become a highly sensitive person. I didn’t mean to, but one day something snapped.

The exact moment that made me snap… This is dumb, I feel stupid for admitting this. It was a wedding proposal on an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Specifically, season 1 episode 4 John Bargeman. I cried like a baby and ever since then I am a sucker for anything that involves being emotional.

Now realizing that I am overly emotional and I feel what others are feeling I was getting bogged down. I couldn’t tell if I was feeling like shit or if someone else’s emotions were making me feel like shit. Either way, I needed some cleansing.

PSA – if you sometimes feel this way you may be an empath.

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Step back Spiritually

I am not a religious person, so I can’t speak on how to have a relationship with God. My approach to my spiritual journey as grounding myself, cleansing my aura, and realigning my chakras.

My soul needed to be cleansed of all the negative talk I was doing. All I was doing was spewing negativity onto myself and about others around me.

Getting rid of all the lies I told myself about myself. Ridding all the negative things I have been told by others. Their hurtful comments, judging looks. I wanted to free myself from all of it.

monochrome photography of woman wearing swimsuit taking a step back
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Step back Physically

Growing up anytime I tried being active I was forced to quit because of my mother. I tried out for the volleyball team in high school, made the team, and had to quit by the first practice because my mom wouldn’t take me. Same for color guard.

I put myself out there only to be stunted by my mom. She wasn’t a very active plus-size woman. So we were never forced to do anything physical. We could sit inside all day and play video games.

Looking back I see how inactive I was. I realized how inactive I was. Well into my mid 20’s I found myself doing the same things my mother was doing, except for the drinking part.

I had to take a step back and evaluate how my life was going. Most of my eating habits from my mother. Eating healthy and being active kind of go hand in hand when losing weight. I needed to make the concious decision everyday to be physically active. Eat better, move my body more.

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Taking a step back Socially

In college, I was going out every night of the week with my friends. We had a karaoke spot for all 7 days. I was drinking a lot back then, staying out till 3, 4, or 5 am then going to work at 7 am.

I did that for 4 years.

It wasn’t till I with Mike that it slowed down. We would go out every once in awhile, but I started to notice that my outlook changed when it came to my friends.

Being in a serious relationship with Mike meant I was taking the role of being someone’s stepmother. Our free time on the weekends we would plan to do things with Mikayla. That didn’t sit well with some people and would try to make me feel guilty for my decisions.

The more I sat with my feelings and thoughts about my friendships I realized how toxic some were. I made it appoint to pull back on hanging out with anyone. It didnt matter if I thought you were good or not. I just needed to be alone.

I wish I could be completely honest about this part, but for the sake of not causing drama we will just leave it at that’s the reason I became a homebody.

photo of a person leaning on wooden window taking a step back
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Step back Morally

Hello, my name is Michele and I am a square.

I am 90% of the time a goody-two-shoes. Lying is not something I like doing. I can tell a white lie, nothing that is to out there. I will never tell a lie that will lead to me having to come up with another lie to cover up the last lie. That is too much confusion for me.

But the white lie here and there is fine. To spare someone’s feelings, avoid confrontation, or get me out of having to do something that I don’t really want to do.

However, if it is something major. No way Jose. I am not lying. I don’t need that on my conscious weighing me down causing unnecessary stress.

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Taking a step back

No matter what you are doing in life. Sit with yourself and get to know you and what you want out of life. Even if you think everything is all fine and dandy. It is best to take a step back once in a while.

If not for fixing issues in your life. You know those ones that don’t align with what you want for yourself.

Take a step back to just check-in. Take a much-needed break from the constant rollercoaster of life. Make sure everything is running smoothly.

Take a step back once in a while so you can move forward without any regret on your end. You know want to wake up one day looking at yourself in the mirror asking yourself “Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?”

Let me know when the last time you took a step back to take your own helicopter ride to see your aerial shot of your life? If you have what have you learned about yourself?

Until next time, Have a great day!

Taking a step back

36 thoughts on “Taking a step back in your life to reflect

  1. Your experience resonates with a lot of us. Taking a step back in our lives to reflect is an healthy way to purge ourselves of all the mental, emotional and physical pains we may be going through. It is also a way to appreciate the little things and people that happen to be in our lives either by accident or otherwise. I love that you shared your experience on this topic because it really inspired me.

  2. Wow, you bring up some really great points. We actually grow when we take a step back and reflect on our lives. We learn more about ourselves and become better people as a result!

  3. I appreciate everything about this post. I love the addition of social and moral components to the pillars of our lives. A way I like to take a step back and try an realign is via a full chakra meditation. Look it up if you’re interested!

  4. I enjoyed this post very much and honestly feel I am about the same way. I don’t think I was ever “mean” but I am very abrasive. I very much care what people think but at the same time it doesn’t matter to me in the end I am going to do or say it anyways. I have 5 kids so I am trying to be a better mom than the one I was given. My mom tried. I know she did now. Now that she is gone I can’t tell her I understand now. I just hope that I don’t damage my children the way that I was so that’s why I make it a point to step back at least once a month to truly reflect. Thank you for posting this.

    1. I was straight-up mean. Looking back now, I think I was mean because you couldn’t hurt me if I was mean to you first. I assumed everyone was going to hate me and make fun of me. Couldn’t do it if I established you didn’t matter to me in reality I really effin care.

  5. Great read. By taking a step back to reflect on so many aspects of your life, your next step forward is sure to be a leap.

  6. I haven’t Step back to reflect yet… reading this I realised that it’s good to step back like detoxing everything and learn where I’ve been good at and what makes me feel good.

    1. Taking a step back shows you where you shine in areas and where you may need some work in others. The main focus is to help you remember where you are and where you want to be.

  7. A very beautiful post I love it and will be checking on those 6 aspects too in my life. You wrote it so well.

  8. I love this is so important to taking a step back in life to realize things to become a better person. Actually I do sometimes when I feel upset and sensitive.

    1. Don’t just do it when you are upset, it may just become a coping mechanism and not really help you much. Being upset and sensitive you may still have blinders on.

  9. Indeed agree with most of you covered in this article. Self-reflection has been an essential technique for me for a few your already but there is still a lot to improve.

    1. I agree. Don’t get comfortable while you are stepping back. You just need to take a step back long enough to see the big picture and adjust anything that needs adjusting.

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