Hello all, How are you doing? Welcome to Our Redonkulous Life. I am Michele. My goal is to help you figure out what you want in life and help you grow to get it. I post every Friday. If you are interested in sticking around to start a self-improvement journey to get the life you want. Today’s post is all about where and how you can start your own journey. Where to start on your self-improvement journey?
We talked about last week my journey to self-improvement. Leading off from that I would like to dive into what I think are some tips that could help you start your own journey. Where do you start?
Side rant about influencers
I don’t know why but as of lately I have seen a lot of the same people posting the inspirational quotes. They are using the #self discovery, # self-improvement, and #livingmybestlife. It has been over a year now since I have messaged some of those people. I have asked for advice on where or how to start my journey and never got a reply.
I have slowly come to realize these people. (And I hate to use this cliche quote but). These people are only talking the talk… they are not actually walking the walk. There is no such thing as an inspirational quote that will help you clear your mind. So you can become centered with your mental health.
When I was starting my journey as I said before I had messaged some of these people. These people I thought could help me to provide some insight on what I should do. What I should spend time focusing on so I wasn’t all over the place.
When I got no response. I decided I would make it a goal of mine to help those who asked. Because it was an emotional rollercoaster for myself. I was all over the place.
Was it a big giant secret?
I say this because at the time. I felt like it was just one big giant secret that you couldn’t self improve if you weren’t part of a certain group. Which was stupid. In my head I made it seem like the fight club. Except you can talk about it you just can’t explain where a good place to start is. You just give vogue answers and just list things you can do to make yourself better.
No one knows where or how you start… you just start… and I’m over here like “ give me a bread crumb… I want to join you PLEASE Just point in the right direction!”
Sorry honey it doesn’t work like that.
Sorry for that little rant, but its how I felt when I first started my journey. They would post inspirational quotes and aesthetically pleasing photos but had no real substance to support why they were doing it, except #girlythings.
The 6 different aspects
There are 6 different aspects of self-improvement. There are mental, spiritual, emotional, physical, social, and moral. A quote isn’t going to fix all of these areas. We will eventually be going through all of those aspects on the podcast as well as on my blog, but today I wont to focus on what I think could help you start a self-improvement journey especially If you are unsure where to start like I was.
Climb aboard and buckle up we’re going through a rollercoaster of emotions.
First, and foremost I am not going to do a deep dive this tip I have for you I think its pretty self explanatory.
Get yourself a journal, a notebook, loose leaf paper in a binder
Or if you are tech-savvy carry around a laptop or phone. My suggestion is always a journal or notebook because I can toss the journal into my purse or book bag and take it with me.
If I have it with me I can write while waiting in the doctor’s office, I can write while waiting in line at the grocery store. I don’t really suggest breaking out a laptop unless you are at a coffee house. Then its the norm.
Just get something. Whatever is most comfortable for you. All you really want to do is to be able to have one designated place where you can see and track the process you are making. That’s all I have to say about that.
Why start a self-improvement journey??
The first thing I want to talk about is why. This is a big one because of understanding your WHY. You want to know why are you doing this? Why you are starting a self-improvement journey? It would be the whole reason why you are starting this. Having that why can keep you on track when it comes to making a self-improvement plan and putting that plan in motion.
And it’s fine if you don’t know right now. It’s perfectly okay if all you know is you have this feeling deep down inside that you need to do something because what you have been doing apparently isn’t working for you and you can see that. Your why will come to you eventually, but for now, just hold onto that feeling of that you need to change.
Holding onto that feeling of change can and will open up your will, to be honest with yourself. The point of self-improvement or a self-discovery journey is just that you want to improve yourself and get to know yourself better. You can’t improve on something you haven’t discovered or something you don’t know anything about. YET!
Next is becoming self-aware. When you have that feeling and have the willingness, to be honest with yourself. I mean 100% brutally honest with yourself it makes being self-aware a lot easier. You are willing to go to places and depths within yourself that you have never been before.
And what I mean by self-aware is to look at yourself objectively. Don’t be influenced by your personal feelings or opinions. Do not depend on both your mind and heart to tell you the truth. We all know our heart and mind can sometimes fib and tell you things you want to hear or the things you need to hear in order to make yourself feel better. One of them may tell you to just give up your life is fine, while the other says to keep going you are made for more.
Don’t let your mind or heart talk you out of this. Remember you are made for more. You wanted to start this self-improvement journey for a reason. Again you may not know fully what that reason is yet, but don’t bail because you have to be real with yourself.
Exercise to try and find your WHY
Don’t flake because things are getting real and you don’t want to lie to yourself anymore.
Try this out… get out your handy dandy notebook and have an internal talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend. If you knew a friend was having a hard time and they were struggling with something internally you would be interested in their wellbeing and would offer suggestions.
You might even be BRUTALLY honest with that friend if you think they are making some wrong decisions or going down a path that doesn’t seem right for them.
Wouldnt you also expect your friend not to get mad at you for being truthful. So don’t be mad at yourself. Write down the questions you are asking yourself, write down your answers. Keep your self accountable for the things you are saying or wanting to do.
Show up for yourself
With this exercise, I don’t want you to think I am saying to go bad mouth yourself and write down all the disgusting qualities you have and be your worse critic on paper.
I would NEVER say that.
The point of this is to figure out your why… figure out what the ideas of growth you are looking for yourself. What areas in your life are you unsatisfied with. And more importantly what areas do you want to improve and what results do you want from self-improving.
We need to figure out what makes you tick and what makes you do the things you do in the areas you want to improve.
What I found out while on my journey
I always used to kid around that I was neurotic. Using it when I didn’t fully know the definition. I just thought it meant my weird habits and how I like things done a certain way.
While on this journey I discovered that I might have neuroticism. Which is a higher-order personality trait that I have not been medically diagnosed yet, but it would explain a lot into why I would feel moody for no reason? My mood could change from happy to sad to anxious in the flip of a hat.
Looking back and thinking internally I could remember accounts in relationships where I would get in these fits of feeling anxiety, worry, fear, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, and guilty. It would also explain why I would be in a depressed mood, and experience loneliness even when I wasn’t alone.
Ask yourself those hard-hitting questions. I have a blog post called 25 Self-Discovery questions you never ask yourself, but should. I will leave a link in the description.
If you can’t ask yourself, ask a friend
If you are not at the point where you can be honest with yourself ask your friends to be honest with you. Ask those 25 questions to your friends and have them describe you. I suggest asking someone you trust and won’t get made at if they are 100% honest with you. The point of all this is to discover who you are and what you want for your life.
Being honest with yourself will open a lot of doors and windows in your mind that you didn’t know you had and bring light to you on how to heal and grow. Once you become self-aware… you can then find out who you are and build your own identity.
Find out who you are and build your own identity
Find out who you are and build your own identity on your own terms. Don’t let outsiders have an influence on you of who you are or who you want to be. They are not the boss of you, you are your own person and can make decisions for yourself.
Here is another exercise for you… write out all the things you can think that you like, love, and are obsessed with. With that list give each item a rating of 1-10. 1 is you don’t really like you just kind of said you did and 10 is I can’t go a day without talking about it or my head will literally explode.
The reason for this exercise is to see if you like things because you genuinely like them or if this was the influence of a parent, a boy you like, or because you are trying to make friends.
Take a look at your agreeableness. Are you a yes person? Meaning you just agree with whatever someone says to make them happy and not form your own opinion.
Don’t change for anyone
We always hear the saying Don’t change yourself for anyone EVER. It’s true we shouldn’t, but we all have done it.
I used to fake liking sports when I was younger because the boy I liked, liked sports. How do you fake something you know nothing about… I would love to say its one of my many skills, but I’m pretty sure he saw right through it. It was exhausting trying to come up with things to say about something I knew nothing about.
I loved singing and joined the chorus in high school because I loved it so much. Eventually, my mom said it was the only extracurricular activity I could do because she had a crush on my MARRIED chorus teacher. Because of this I almost gave up something I was in love with. Her telling me that it was the only activity I could do. I kind of fell out of love with it. I wanted to do it because I loved it, not because my mom made me. So she could see my “hot” teacher. (by the way, he WAS NOT HOT)
Don’t let someone else make choices for you
Because of one person’s agenda, I almost gave up a huge part of myself. So Don’t fake liking things or let people influence what you do. It will not get you the right people in your life. You will be friends with people who don’t know who you really are or what your interests are. It’s so much easier in life just being you…
When you fake liking something or fake your personality I know from experience it can get pretty exhausting. You are always having to be someone else and you will always have to be “ON” as this persona until you get home and you are alone in your room.
The sooner you can know who you are you can start building your own identity. It will save you so much time and hassle, please listen to that stupid saying. Don’t change yourself for anyone because it can and will always come to bite you in the ass later.
Discover and develop your talents
The last thing I suggest you do before starting your self-improvement journey is to discover and develop your talents. Find out what you are good at. You might just find the friends you were looking for when you are actually doing the things you love.
If you don’t know what you are good at or what your talent is… that’s is A-okay my friend. This is a time to try new things. Things you have always wanted to do, things you never heard of till someone told you about it.
Don’t overwhelm yourself with trying too many. Trying to juggle too many things at once everything could all come crashing down and that means you might give up. Also, Don’t just try one thing and call it a day. Pick one or two things to try out for a couple of weeks or for a month. However, don’t get upset if something doesn’t work out. IT WILL BE OKAY. You cant be good at everything. You will fail and that is okay. That is apart of self-improvement, apart of the growth. Knowing you tried, knowing you failed, and not letting that stop you.
Realize that whatever you just did was NOT YOUR Talent. Try something else. Once you find a few talents you are really good at, work on them develop them, and expand on them.
The take away from this week’s podcast is or as I will call it… your homework! Mwauuhhhhhahahahaha just kidding… about the laugh, not the homework.
I do think these 6 things I touched on will help you when you are first beginning your journey.
Just a recap of what those were in a nutshell was:
1. Get a Journal
2. Find your why
3. Embrace your willingness to be open
4. Become Self Aware
5. Find out who you are and build your own identity
6. Discover & develop your own talents.
Try the 2 exercises –
1. Have an internal friendtervention with yourself
2. Rate the things you like, love, and are obsessed with.
I hope you guys enjoyed these tips on where to start on your self-improvement journey? Also that you decide to follow Our Redonkulous Life to help you with your self-discovery journey. Please leave me a good rating it is much appreciated and as always come find me on my social media pages to connect with me outside of the podcast.
Until next time, Have a great day!