I have seen it happen over and over, Hell I have even been there. You have a dream of doing something amazing with your life, but the people around you or companies keep telling you no that you shouldn’t do that. You are constantly being told no, so you don’t. Today we are taking back the power of the word NO.
What kind of life is that?
There are so many lies we tell ourselves about “these people” who know what is best for us. I hate to break it to you, but the ONLY person who knows what is best for you… is YOU.
Being told no is soul-crushing. It gives us this fear that we are not good enough. That even the people who know us don’t think we could make it. We put so much weight on what another person says and give them this validation that they know better and we in fact don’t know anything.
I want to talk about the lies we are told, the lies we tell ourselves, what to do when you are told no and how we are taking back the power of being told no.
The lies we are told
The job you have now is safer
Yes, it may be a reliable job, but if it is not something you like doing. Then why do it? You can do work that you love and still work your day job.
It’s going to be really hard
If it was easy everyone would be doing it and most of them are but the difference between you and them is that you want this so bad. You eat, sleep, and dream this. That passion is what is going to get you to the next level. If you don’t have that then the next lie will
Not all people succeed
That is true, not all people succeed. The reason we know that is because when the going gets tough people give up rather than fight for what they want. If you are not willing to work hard for this, just know someone else is right behind you willing to do what you won’t.
You don’t know what you are doing
Everyone starts out not knowing what to do. It is okay. As long as you become a long term learner then you will be fine. Learning about what you want to do and how it can constantly change is part of the business.
You need to save money
If you want to wait forever to start then, by all means, go that route. Just know we see a lot of people starting their own companies with little to no money. I started this blog for less than 20 bucks. Was it more my second year, yes, but I had 12 months to save for it.
The lies we tell ourselves
I am not talented enough
This is you suffering from impostor syndrome. You think about all the others who are doing what you want to do and believe that you are not good enough. If you put your own little spin on what you want then you stand out from the rest of the crowd. If you have even the slightest creative bone in your body to start going after your dreams you are talented enough and others will see that.
I can’t because of my age
Age is just a number. Stan Lee got his big break at 39. Alan Rickman was 42. Bob Ross was 41. Oprah Winfrey was was 32 when her talk show first went national in 1986. Steve Carell did not become a household name until he starred in the office at age 43. I could keep going, but you catch my drift. Age doesn’t mean anything if you have the passion and work ethic to back up what you want to do.
I don’t deserve it
That has to be the most heartbreaking thing to tell yourself. That you think that little of yourself and tell yourself that you don’t deserve something. Something that brings you joy and happiness. You are made for more and deserve everything you have ever wanted in this world, but it won’t be handed to you. You need to fight for all of that.
I am too busy
The things we tell ourselves. Turn off the TV, put your phone down. You have time. If this is something you really want to do. You have already had the conversation with yourself about how hard it will be to do and you still want to do it. You will make time. No one is ever to busy for their dreams and goals. Make the conscious decision to show up for yourself every damn day!
I will fail
Well, you will with that attitude. Changing the way you think can bring a lot of opportunities your way. If you think shitty thoughts, shitty things will happen to you. I am not saying live your life with your head in the clouds. You can be realistic and still hope for the best. You know that saying “Hope for the best, prepare for the worse.” Always believe you will succeed, but in that off chance you don’t… don’t give up. It is just an obstacle, learn from it, and move on.
The greatest mistake you can make in your life is to be continually fearing you will make one.
What to do when you are told no
Use it as motivation
If those around you are telling you no use it to fuel your passion to prove them wrong. Most people are only telling you no because of their own fears.
Ask what made it a no for them
If it was a company that told you no ask them why. Make it a learning/teachable moment. Take constructive criticism you are given and apply what you think might be useful to help reach your dream.
Respect why they said no
Do not throw a temper tantrum because they said no. A company may have its reasons, but you don’t want to say something you will regret. Conduct yourself in a professional manner.
Don’t burn that bridge
Just because they said no now doesn’t mean it will be a no forever. Don’t say or do something you will regret later on.
Taking back the power of the word NO
No doesn’t mean you failed
Taking back the power of the word NO – If a company tells you no, it doesn’t mean you failed it means you were not the right fit for them now.
No doesn’t mean you give up
Taking back the power of the word NO- Receiving a no from anyone should never result in you giving up.
No is never the final answer
I have said previously now twice that no is not the final answer. If you can figure out a way to do what you needed that company for then do it without them. Rachel Hollis was turned down by many publishers for her book “Party Girl”. She took the many nos she got and figured out how to publish her book by herself.
No should make you want it more
Continuing with Rachel. all of those made her want it more because she believed in that book so much. If she took those nos as she shouldn’t write again we would not have all the amazing books she has written since then. With each, no received it should fire a yes inside of you.
Don’t waste another minute
If there is something you have been wanting to do but keep telling yourself all of these lies above. You need to start today. Get out of your comfort zone and the things you have always wanted to do.
This very moment and every moment that is to come… stop letting others tell you no, stop telling yourself no, and definitely stop letting no be your final answer. Giving up when you hear the word no you will never know what your life could have been if you kept pushing forward. That is how we start taking back the power of the word NO
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Until next time, have a great day!