Self Care: You need to take care of yourself

When is it a good time for some self-care?

Sometimes life can be hard. I know that I as well as most of you are always go go go. I make my lists for the day and I try to complete the list. If I don’t finish it then I kinda beat myself up about it. I find myself apologizing to Mike for not doing the dishes, making his lunch, or having dinner ready. His response is always “It’s Okay”.

Tell that to my brain…

There are not enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do and sometimes I am overwhelmed. Now I know some of you may think you don’t need to apologize for anything. Mike is grown he can help himself and I know he can. Hell, he knows he can, but if I am home all day why not have dinner ready?

Something happened when I quit my job. I screwed up my sleep schedule, I am not a day person anymore and have not had the motivation to do anything. This funk needs to go. I feel bad all the time.

Always go go go

From the time I was 15, I was always go go go. Had to make money to survive. The only time I didn’t work was when I was in an abusive relationship. Being deprived of everything. Human interaction, a job, friends, family and so much more. When I got out I told myself I would never be without. EVER AGAIN! I held up my end of the deal. I have worked and worked for what little I have.

Even when I met Mike I never fully relied on him. I always said I could do things myself and I can. As the years went on I realized I let myself rely on Mike more than I wanted to. But, that is what a relationship is. This is the best relationship I have ever been in. Sure we have our ups and downs, but in the end, no one is going anywhere. That’s why we check in when doing our life audit.

This got deep real fast and is not even the topic of today’s blog. Which is… Self Care!

Let’s start the self-care

Since Mike is working nights and I have become a night owl. I took a couple of days for some self-care. Not in a row, it was one day one week and one another week. I did all the things I say I am going to do, but never actually get to it.

These 2 days I have done some things for the house, something for myself and I don’t feel guilty about it at all. I slowed down from my go go go mentality. It was good for the mind and soul.

Starting the Self Care

I first started with a pre-shower treatment. I was watching Queer Eye and heard Jonathan Van Ness talk to a hero on their show about dandruff. Certain times of the year I am known to have it. Jonathan told the hero to mix 1 part water with 1 part apple cider vinegar.

He said to apply after shampooing to the scalp and left to soak in for 10 minutes. This is to restore the natural pH of the scalp and stop that buildup from happening. Once the 10 minutes are up, rinse the hair, condition, and style as usual.

This was amazing because it was 2 ingredients I had at home. I made the mixture and sprayed it onto my scalp and massaged it in. I let it sit for the recommended 10 minutes and washed it out. After I checked my head after and I could see a difference. Not a huge change but I could see something was happening. This will be a weekly thing I do for my hair.

Take care of yo ‘self

While I had the dandruff mixture in my hair, I did a face mask while I waited because it took the same amount of time. Nothing is more satisfying than putting on a peel-off face mask. I didn’t have one at the time, but I did get some after this initial mask.

I have noticed more redness on my cheeks and chin area and I have become kind of self cautious about it. While doing a search I found some ingredients that could help with the redness. I found a couple of masks at Walmart from the company Freeman.

Next face mask to use

I purchased a peel-off clay mask made of Sweet Tea and Lemon. The back of the package stated that it was an antioxidant-rich Tea and Lemon Fruit Extract can tone and soothe the skin. I also picked up a hydrating mask of Glacier water and Pink Peony. I haven’t used this one yet, but I did use the Sweet Tea and Lemon mask. My face was as smooth as could be.

I can’t wait to use the Glacier water and Pink Peony mask because I also read since it is a gel mask. I can leave it on overnight and let my skin soak up all its goodness.

Once done with the mask… I took a long-needed shower.

Shower streams of self-care

I like hot showers. Always start with it hot, not scolding although Mike will say different. Pores need to be opened while showering. While in the shower I did all the girly things. I first exfoliated my body. Scrub a dub dubbed that dead skin off me body.

I washed my hair, conditioned it for 3 minutes you know while I shaved one leg… Rinsed out the conditioner and then shaved the other leg. I washed my body and then exfoliated again. You can never be too sure when you forget to do it once in a while. Double up when in doubt.

While in the shower I have been using these products.

I rinsed my hair and face with cool water you know trying to reduce the redness. And that was that. I mean it wasn’t a quick shower, but it was a nice relaxing time taking care of my body temple.

Hair we go again

After my shower, I decided I needed a change my hair has been the same for a while now. I let it grow long down to my booty then I cut long layers in it. Then I get bored so then I cut it all one length again. So this time I cut short layers in my hair in hopes it will have somebody. Normally it just sits there on my head and does nothing. I forgot to take a picture of the layers, but you will see it later in the post because I do something else to my hair.

I do not go and get my hair done professionally. Never have, most likely never will. Everything I have done with my hair I learned out to do it myself through YouTube. I cut and dye my own hair always. I ain’t got the money for that. So I chopped my hair and I am digging it. It does have a lot more bounce in it.

Nail time, nail time, nail time…

My sister took me to get my nails done before she moved to South Carolina and I loved them. Normally I don’t keep my nails for long. After a while, I get tired of not being able to feel myself scratching. It had been 2 weeks and I was going to go get them done again. The place I went to wanted to charge me full price like I was getting a new full set when it was just a fill. So I dipped out.

I decided I was going to let my nails grow out and cut them off. My nails only grow when artificial ones are on. So I cut my nails down, filed them all down and the grown out edge and painted them my trusty burgundy. I don’t know what it is but burgundy is my go-to color.

Getting out of my comfort zone

It shook my sister when I got my nails painted a forest green color, but right now I don’t have one. I may have to invest in buying that color nail polish. She surely thought I got burgundy. Nope, not that time. But I painted my nails the color I like and the ONLY color I have.

Now its been a week and they look jacked up again, so I will be doing my nails again this week.

Wanna Netflix and Self care?

While doing my nails I binge-watched some Netflix with the family. For those of you who know me know I have a Bachelor’s in Criminal Justice. Hello… True Crime… I get hooked on crime shows and documentaries. I spent the next 2 nights binge-watching 2 mini-series. The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann and The Keepers.

I remember hearing about Madeleine McCann on Murder She Ate with Keto Connect. The Keepers I thought was about the murder of a nun that I got me interested in Criminal Justice. It was a story on CNN that they were covering the conviction of the killer live. I was into it all day every day watching CNN. Turns out it was a completely different story, but just as fucked up.

I don’t want to talk too much about them in case anyone has not seen them, but do check them out. Let me know if you guys would want Mike and I to do a video on some cases we find interesting.

Now on to the second day

A week or so later, I spent another day/night clearing my mind since I worked a lot on taking care of my body.

A lot of these I did multi-tasking. I finally decided to use my happy planner. I bought it months ago and couldn’t bring myself to write in it. Let me tell you the creativity of decorating it and writing down all the stuff I had to do was really therapeutic. My mind finally felt at ease when I put my blog schedule and tasks down on paper. Instead of just trying to remember what to do on what day.

While I was working on my planner I was also listening to music on YouTube. I pick a song to play and then just let it continue playing. I have been on a Harry Styles and Kelly Clarkson kick. Yet, I found a lot of good music to put on my iPod for my trip to New Jersey in a couple of weeks.

Between breaks of working on my planner, I did some dishes, put away some laundry and played with my cats.

Self-care at its finest

Later in the night I finally decided to dye my hair. I have been putting it off for months. I have not dyed my hair since January when Mike bought me hair dye for Christmas. You might think who buys someone hair dye for Christmas? It’s the perfect gift because he knows I will never buy it for myself.

Speaking of not buying myself things. I never buy makeup or beauty products. In this past week, I bought myself some new makeup. Foundation, eyeliner, primer, and perfume. Boy, I felt guilty and almost put it back. As soon as I hint any ounce of guilt Mike will raise his voice at me and say “Get it! If you don’t I will go back and buy it for you. You deserve to buy things you need as well as want. It’s Okay to do so.”

Have I told you guys how much I love this man so much!

Why it is important to do self-care?

Normally do not think of doing things for my mind and soul. I always worry more about what my family needs before what I need. I will definitely be taking one day a week or two to do a self-care day. To sit and relax and not worry about the house being clean, making dinner, or whatever else I have on my lists I make. It was truly life-changing.

The world did not fall apart…

It was great for my mental health and really got me out of my funk. I can’t take care of others if I don’t take care of myself. Self-care is a must, lesson learned. We have a busy couple of weeks in September, but I definitely think Mike should take a self-care day as well. He works so much and really deserves a day of self-care. Where he can just relax and play video games without me or Mikayla wanting him to do something.

Let me know if you would like to see a post about a men’s self-care day? Also, what are some self-care things you guys do to keep yourself sane?

Until next time, have a great day!