Happy Self-Care Awareness Month. When is the last time you felt really good about yourself? Its been a while since this quarantine right? I challenge myself this week to use clothes as self-care. How? You may be asking yourself…
Keep reading to find out how I got that boost in my confidence. That I should have a long time ago.
Me? a Fashion guru… haha NO. I am far from it. I do like clothes apparently not as much as other people. That is about to change my friends because it had never crossed my mind that you could use clothes as self-care. Make yourself feel good and boost your confidence.
It wasn’t until I was talking to my cousin about how much she loved clothes and how they made her feel. It has been a while since I felt anything from my clothes. My clothes were just clothes. They cover my body while outside so I didn’t go to jail for indecent exposure.
To use clothes as self-care to boost my confidence I had to do something that nobody ever really wants to do. I had to go somewhere I had not been in awhile. (when it came to fashion) I had to step outside of my comfort zone. I didn’t wanna do it… but I did it anyway.
What fashion meant to me
Growing up I never really had cute clothes or was taught how to do my makeup or hair. For some reason, I got it stuck in my head that because I was fat no one would want me or ever think I was pretty. Which lead me to have a lot of insecurities.
Those insecurities make me think I wasn’t pretty. So I didn’t dress pretty. That kind of thinking made me want to cover up my fat because I was insecure about my thighs touching. I covered up because I didn’t like my muffin top.
You can ask my sister I used to live in sweatshirts and jeans during middle school and high school. As I got older I had to suck it up because I live in Florida and sometimes you gotta wear light, sleeveless clothing to stay sane in the heat. However, I was always very uncomfortable.
I am trying not to cry here.
Sitting here thinking back I feel bad for that girl. I feel bad because she is amazing and wonderful but so fucking stupid… She is stupid for letting these fears hold her back. How did I let myself become so scared to dress how I wanted?
Well into my adult years I “tried” dressing sexy and didn’t feel comfortable. I felt that if I posted a picture of my full body I would hear comments because I was too damn ugly. I am so insecure about many things about myself. Honestly, I don’t know where all of these fucking insecurities came from.
Especially finding out I had PCOS and that it would be very hard for me to lose weight. It didn’t make me feel any better. This made me live in leggings and t-shirts. Dressing like that I never felt pretty. I would see pictures of myself and think “God, I look so fat”.
I was very hesitant that my opinion wouldn’t change and I would still see myself the way I always do. Even if I use clothes as self-care.
What prompted me to use clothes as self-care
Out of the blue last month, my Cousin messaged me on Facebook and asked me “what size clothes do you wear?” Reluctant I told her. She replied back saying she is working from home now and is decluttering closet. None of her friends wear her size. Because I was roughly around her size she wanted to send me a huge box of clothes.
I was so excited. She started sending me pictures of some of the items she would be sending and I was falling in love. She expressed to me how she loves clothes and how it makes her feel more confident. I agreed not really fully understanding how clothes could make you feel amazing.
Remember I spent years trying to cover myself up.
With this huge box coming of clothes I got really excited. Even more when the box came and it was almost 52 pounds. She packed that box to the brim and told she would have another smaller box to send in a month or 2.
It took me 2 hours to take everything out of that box and another 4 hours to try everything on. I knew not everything would fit so I wanted to weed it out from the get go.
She had sent me so many beautiful pieces I wanted to wear them all in one day. Obviously that would be impossible to do. So I challenged myself to step up my outfit game. Throw in my leggings for actual pants with pockets!
So I challenged myself to create new outfits that I would never normally wear let alone post a picture in. I wanted to merge the clothes my cousin gave me with the clothes I bought thinking I would “someday” wear them and just never have.
Although I had nowhere to go I wanted to put together outfits every day without thinking about it too much. First instinct, get dressed, and then take a picture. I posted a couple of them and got some great remarks.
Day 1 – I was a little uncomfortable.
I started out easy. Just a casual outfit. I already owned the shirt, pants, and shoes. I got the jean jacket from my cousin. Which I am in LOVE with. Normally I find it hard to buy jackets because they don’t fit my arms. This jacket fits like a glove.
You can see that I am a little uncomfortable, but I pushed through and got some cute pics. I am optimistic about this challenge and think it can only go up from here.
I need to work on makeup and hair. That might be the next challenge I give myself. LOL I give this look a 4 out of 10.
Day 2 – Create some outfits
I pushed myself a little more one day 2. I normally like longer shirts to cover my belly, but I really liked this black sweater shirt. The sweater and pants are from my cousin. The ankle booties are mine that I bought a year and a half ago. They have only been worn twice.
I didn’t think I could pull off the capri and booties look. The only thing that would have made this jacket better was if it had pockets. I may have to had some.
Still little awkward taking pictures, but definitely got some cute pics. The picture I posted on my Instagram in this outfit made me feel like it would be my book cover f I ever wrote one. I give this look a 7 out of 10. If it had pockets it would have been higher.
Day 3 – Clothes spark joy
I posted this picture because I felt so cute. You can see from my expression I was happy with this look.
Everything but the shoes was from my cousin. She has amazing style. This long cardigan is my favorite. It’s my witches cape. The sequined shirt is amazing but itchy.
I give this look an 8 out of 10 because I look cute AF.
Day 4 – Fashion to express my uniqueness
Day 4 Man… Did I push myself? I bought this jacket over a year ago and have never worn it. It brings me so much joy. I love it, but I got self-conscious about it. How was I supposed to style a jacket like that?
I knew I loved this dress and wanted to wear it because HELLO it has POCKETS! Out of nowhere my brain just went “OMG your leather jacket would go perfect with it because of the purple/ burgundy flowers on it.” Boy was my brain right!
Threw on the booties again because I wanted it to be a little bit edgy. WHAT? Who is she? Thinking about fashion like that. This look made me so happy. I give this look 10 out of 10. I am feeling myself. My favorite by far. It really boosted my confidence since I was use clothes as self-care
Day 5 – Looking good helps us feel good
By day 5 I was feeling myself. I was so happy to get up and pick out my outfit. This is a casual, yet dressy look. Cardigan and jeans were from my cousin. Shirt and ankle booties were mine.
You can tell I had a little more confidence with each picture. This one I am giving a little side-eye like “yeah, I look cute AF”. I give this look an 8 out of 10.
As of right now nothing will beat that purple dress and leather jacket.
What did I learn
Throughout the week I found myself excited each day to pick out an outfit that fit my mood, but also made me feel like a million bucks. I found myself thinking about other outfits I could put together and how I can’t wait to show them on Instagram.
This is the most I have ever posted full-body pictures of myself and I have to say I am not bad looking. I know I will still have my days where I feel huge and ugly, but on those days I need to pop on one of these cute outfits and remind myself I am a badass bitch. I will continue to use clothes as self-care.
Let me know in the comments what outfit makes you look at yourself and screams “YAAAASSSS QUEEN!”? Also give me some tips on how to do my hair and makeup. I might be failing a little bit at being a girl.
Until next time, Have a great day!