Imagine you are at work minding your own business when all of a sudden **BAM** you are struck with self-doubt, what-ifs, and worst of all… you start to think you are an imposter. You think to yourself this is crazy. You are good at what you do. But that little voice in the back of your head telling you that you are in fact an imposter. What would you do? I know what I would do because just this week I had that happen to me. Anyone else suffering from imposter syndrome?
Hello, My name is Michele and I am suffering from imposter syndrome. Nice to meet you!
What is imposter syndrome?
I will tell you what happened to me but first let me tell you what imposter syndrome is. In case you are unfamiliar… Oxford Language’s definition of imposter syndrome states:
To put it in layman’s terms, imposter syndrome is having an experience of feeling like a phony. In your mind, you think at any moment you will be exposed as being a fraud. You tell yourself that you don’t belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck.
With that being said…
I don’t know what happened. There I was editing a YouTube video. When suddenly this wave of emotion overcome me and I said out loud to myself “WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS VIDEO? NO ONE IS GOING TO WATCH THIS!” At that moment with no hesitation, I made myself so stupid. It was a video about how our living space can make our minds feel cluttered and chaotic if the space is cluttered and chaotic. Which I think is a great topic.
But I thought that it was NOT a topic for me to discuss. That I didn’t know what I was doing or talking about. If I put this video out there… people could definitely see that I am a fraud. Who do I think I am thinking I could make videos about this… about personal growth. I know nothing and am an imposter.
How do you get over imposter syndrome?
Don’t do what I did. I made a 12 minute rant about being an imposter. I mean it helped to get that initial frustration out. In that moment I felt so defeated and just needed to do a stream of consciousness. I did something in that video that really helped me get over that hump.
I edited that video and will be posting it on YouTube. Why? because I want people to see that we all struggle. I have been working tirelessly on myself for 2 years. I built a blog around personal growth. To me that proves I am not an imposter. But that moment right there was a teachable moment. So me share what I learned while editing that video. So that you beat your case of imposter syndrome.
What type of imposter are you?
I did not know that there was more than one. So I was a little shocked, but yes… There are 5 types of imposter you can pose as. Let’s dive into a description of each so you can figure out which one applies to you.
Perfectionists set excessively high goals for themselves, and when they fail to reach a goal, they experience major self-doubt and worry about measuring up.
The Superwoman/man are convinced they’re phonies among their colleagues, friends, and family. They often push themselves to work harder and harder to measure up. But this is just a false cover-up for their insecurities.
Natural geniuses also set their goals impossibly high, just like perfectionists. But these types don’t just judge themselves based on that. They also judge themselves based on getting things right on the first try. And when they don’t succeed it triggers their imposter alarm.
The Soloist Refuse to ask for help to prove their worth because if they do it will reveal their phoniness to others. They would rather do everything by themselves.
Experts measure their competence based on “what” and “how much” they know or can do. Believing they will never know enough, they fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.
What am I?
Can you guess which one I am?? Wrong! I think I am a combo of Perfectionist, the superwoman, and the natural genius. I set myself with high standards and goals push myself to work harder to be the “best” and then get pissed off when I fail.
Let me know in the comments what type of imposter or combo imposter you are?
Be kind to yourself
I know this is easier said than done, but take a step back from the situation and think of it as if you were talking to your friend. That this was your friend feeling this way. Would you be saying the things you are saying to yourself to them. No… you wouldn’t.
You would encourage them and reassure them that they know their shit. They are doing what they are supposed to be doing. So why not do it for yourself?
Sometimes my judgment can lapse and so can yours. We are only human. But we know better than to compare ourselves to others. We know social media is 90% fake… yet we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others who have achieved more than us.
When this happens and I catch myself comparing… I stop myself and say this: Michele, quit comparing your beginning to someone’s middle. You will eventually be there. Is it today? No, is that okay? Yes. It will happen when it happens and that is okay.
Is it fear or is it fact?
And when taking that step back ask yourself… Is this my fear talking or is this 100% a fact that I don’t know what I am talking about or doing. I would say 80% of the time it’s my fear talking. 20% it could be a fact that I don’t know what I am talking about or doing. I need to go educate myself more until I am confident.
That is 100% fine if that it was you need to do. I always encourage others to become lifelong learners. Constantly teach yourself new things every day.
But if it is fear that is making you feel this way then my advice is to…
Challenge your fear
Make a list of everything that is making you scared. Say it out loud… If you are anything like me… as soon as I say it out loud it sounds stupid. I said out loud. I am not a great public speaker and I fumble over my words. No one is going to take me seriously. At that moment I realized how ridiculous I sounded.
No shit Michele… You are not a professional public speaker. That is the magic of editing. You can edit out the not-so-good bits and MAKE YOURSELF SOUND MORE PROFESSIONAL. Just record the damn video. So here I am making 2 videos and writing this blog post this week to show you what happened. Once you challenge that fear and realize how ridiculous that fear was it is now time to…
Embrace that feeling
Writing my little bullet point list to write this post and record the video gave me this feeling. I still feel the powerful emotion coming over me. That I can do this. I am still a beginner and will keep getting better if I keep pushing myself.
Stop with the pressure
I was putting this unhealthy pressure on myself to be miss perfect, but I am not I am just me and sometimes I suck. And that is okay. I embrace my suckiness and let go of being a combo imposter.
It is time I give myself the room to mess up and to remind myself the world will not fall apart. No one is pressuring you, but yourself.
We all need that reminder that we are badass. That we can do anything we put our minds to, but we need to work on the confidence we have in ourselves. I have to say to myself MULTIPLE times a day that I am a badass and I got this because I have thoughts and opinions that I think…
NO I KNOW can help people. And in order to give myself that little reminder I HAVE to give myself a…
So I always start off my internal or external pep talk with Michele you are a badass and you got this because you have thoughts and opinions that you KNOW can help people. Why do you know that because you have lived through some shit and you need to share what you have gone through and show others that life is what you make it and that you and everyone else has choices. You can choose a different path than what you were born with. So get out your mower or weed eater and start making your path in this world.
Michele has got her groove back
I am JAZZED right now. Just doing my little pep talk for you guys just puts me in such a good place. It inspires me to make more content, continue to work on myself and share the process with you guys. I hope you guys enjoyed this video. If you did please give it a like, comment and share. If you want to see more content like this hit that subscribe button because I am working on some good shit.
Which video should I put out next The video that started this whole imposter shit “how your environment affects your mind mentally? Or some kind of mindset challenge…? Let me know in the comments.
Until next time, Remember you are a badass!