Imagine you are at work minding your own business when all of a sudden **BAM** you are struck with self-doubt, what-ifs, and worst of all… you start to think you are an imposter. You think to yourself this is crazy. You are good at what you do. But that little voice in the back of your head telling you that you are in fact an imposter. What would you do? I know what I would do because just this week I had that happen to me. Is anyone else suffering from imposter syndrome?
Hello, My name is Michele and I am suffering from imposter syndrome. Nice to meet you!
What is imposter syndrome?
I will tell you what happened to me but first let me tell you what imposter syndrome is. In case you are unfamiliar… Oxford Language’s definition of imposter syndrome states:
To put it in layman’s terms, imposter syndrome is having an experience of feeling like a phony. In your mind, you think at any moment you will be exposed as a fraud. You tell yourself that you don’t belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck.
With that being said…
I don’t know what happened. There I was editing a YouTube video. When suddenly this wave of emotion overcome me and I said out loud to myself “WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS VIDEO? NO ONE IS GOING TO WATCH THIS!” At that moment with no hesitation, I made myself so stupid. It was a video about how our living space can make our minds feel cluttered and chaotic if the space is cluttered and chaotic. Which I think is a great topic.
But I thought that it was NOT a topic for me to discuss. That I didn’t know what I was doing or talking about. If I put this video out there… people could definitely see that I am a fraud. Who do I think I am thinking I could make videos about this… about personal growth. I know nothing and am an imposter.
How do you get over imposter syndrome?
Don’t do what I did. I made a 12-minute rant about being an imposter. I mean it helped to get that initial frustration out. At that moment I felt so defeated and just needed to do a stream of consciousness. I did something in that video that really helped me get over that hump.
I edited that video and will be posting it on YouTube. Why? because I want people to see that we all struggle. I have been working tirelessly on myself for 2 years. I built a blog around personal growth. To me, that proves I am not an imposter. But that moment right there was a teachable moment. So I share what I learned while editing that video. So that you beat your case of imposter syndrome.
What type of imposter are you?
I did not know that there was more than one. So I was a little shocked, but yes… There are 5 types of imposter you can pose as. Let’s dive into a description of each so you can figure out which one applies to you.
Perfectionists set excessively high goals for themselves, and when they fail to reach a goal, they experience major self-doubt and worry about measuring up.
The Superwoman/man are convinced they’re phonies among their colleagues, friends, and family. They often push themselves to work harder and harder to measure up. But this is just a false cover-up for their insecurities.
Natural geniuses also set their goals impossibly high, just like perfectionists. But these types don’t just judge themselves based on that. They also judge themselves based on getting things right on the first try. And when they don’t succeed it triggers their imposter alarm.
The Soloist Refuse to ask for help to prove their worth because if they do it will reveal their phoniness to others. They would rather do everything by themselves.
Experts measure their competence based on “what” and “how much” they know or can do. Believing they will never know enough, they fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.
What am I?
Can you guess which one I am?? Wrong! I think I am a combo of Perfectionist, superwoman, and a natural genius. I set myself up with these high standards and goals push myself to work harder to be the “best” and then get pissed off when I fail.
Let me know in the comments what type of imposter or combo imposter you are?
Be kind to yourself
I know this is easier said than done, but take a step back from the situation and think of it as if you were talking to your friend. That this was your friend feeling this way. Would you be saying the things you are saying to yourself to them? No… you wouldn’t.
You would encourage them and reassure them that they know their shit. They are doing what they are supposed to be doing. So why not do it for yourself?
Sometimes my judgment can lapse and so can yours. We are only human. But we know better than to compare ourselves to others. We know social media is 90% fake… yet we find ourselves comparing ourselves to others who have achieved more than us.
When this happens and I catch myself comparing… I stop myself and say this: Michele, quit comparing your beginning to someone’s middle. You will eventually be there. Is it today? No, is that okay? Yes. It will happen when it happens and that is okay.
Is it fear or is it fact?
And when taking that step back ask yourself… Is this my fear talking or is this 100% a fact that I don’t know what I am talking about or doing? I would say 80% of the time it’s my fear talking. 20% it could be a fact that I don’t know what I am talking about or doing. I need to go educate myself more until I am confident.
That is 100% fine if that is what you need to do. I always encourage others to become lifelong learners. Constantly teach yourself new things every day.
But if it is fear that is making you feel this way then my advice is to…
Challenge your fear
Make a list of everything that is making you scared. Say it out loud… If you are anything like me… as soon as I say it out loud it sounds stupid. I said out loud. I am not a great public speaker and I fumble over my words. No one is going to take me seriously. At that moment I realized how ridiculous I sounded.
No shit Michele… You are not a professional public speaker. That is the magic of editing. You can edit out the not-so-good bits and MAKE YOURSELF SOUND MORE PROFESSIONAL. Just record the damn video. So here I am making 2 videos and writing this blog post this week to show you what happened. Once you challenge that fear and realize how ridiculous that fear was it is now time to…
Embrace that feeling
Writing my little bullet point list to write this post and record the video gave me this feeling. I still feel the powerful emotion coming over me. That I can do this. I am still a beginner and will keep getting better if I keep pushing myself.
Stop with the pressure
I was putting this unhealthy pressure on myself to be miss perfect, but I am not I am just me and sometimes I suck. And that is okay. I embrace my suckiness and let go of being a combo imposter.
It is time I give myself the room to mess up and to remind myself the world will not fall apart. No one is pressuring you, but yourself.
We all need that reminder that we are badass. That we can do anything we put our minds to, but we need to work on the confidence we have in ourselves. I have to say to myself MULTIPLE times a day that I am a badass and I got this because I have thoughts and opinions that I think…
NO I KNOW can help people. And in order to give myself that little reminder, I HAVE to give myself a…
So I always start off my internal or external pep talk with Michele you are a badass and you got this because you have thoughts and opinions that you KNOW can help people. Why do you know that because you have lived through some shit and you need to share what you have gone through? So you can show others that life is what you make it and that you and everyone else have choices. You can choose a different path than what you were born with. So get out your mower or weed eater and start making your path in this world.
Michele has got her groove back
I am JAZZED right now. Just doing my little pep talk for you guys just puts me in such a good place. It inspires me to make more content, continue to work on myself, and share the process with you guys. I hope you guys enjoyed this video. If you did please give it a like, comment, and share. If you want to see more content like this hit that subscribe button because I am working on some good shit.
Which video should I put out next The video that started this whole imposter shit “how your environment affects your mind mentally? Or some kind of mindset challenge…? Let me know in the comments.
Until next time, Remember you are a badass!
44 thoughts on “How to beat your case of imposter syndrome?”
Sometimes, I start doubting whether anyone will want to read my book or blog for that matter. I have some of each imposter tendency but I a more of a soloist myself I think. I don’t like asking for help (but I have gotten a lot better!)
I think we can all be each one depending on the situation, but we lean more towards certain ones on the daily.
I guess, I dont possess any of the imposter syndromes. I don’t know but for every failure and mistakes I make, I just get up and face the consequence. That’s how I deal everything.
It must be really nice to not feel like an imposter. haha, I am trying to unlearn it all.
Oh, I sometimes feel this way. So there’s a name for it. At least I’m on the right track when it comes to reminding myself of my positive traits when I’m suddenly gripped with self-doubt.
Yes, Ivan. You have to be your biggest hype person when you get in these ruts. Talk to yourself life a friend.
I am glad you are going to be posting your video on YouTube. I have had a perfectionist streak that I am trying to eliminate as it stands in the way of progress!
I never was a perfectionist… but somehow as I got older something shifted in me and I think if I work through all my crap I could get back to being a little bit more carefree.
Hi Michele, I love stopping by your blog as most of what you post here is relatable. I had imposter syndrome when I was younger – Superwoman. I used to feel that my efforts aren’t enough even how hard I push myself. Self-doubt was truly my enemy back then. Until I started being kind to myself (and the pep talk), I was able to recover from it. Thank you so much for the reminder. ❤️
You are so welcome Polly!
Hey Michelle! Great blog and totally relatable. Since I hurt my knee I I feel like an imposter teaching fitness. On the up though as its healing.
Keep, shining. X
Aww, I am sorry to hear about your knee. I hope you get better soon!
I love this post! This is something I have experienced and I work with my client in my Hypnotherapy practice. For anyone experiencing this, I say first of all, be kind to yourself and remember…just because you think the thoughts you do, it doesn’t make them real or true.
That is the biggest lesson you must learn. Just because you thought it doesn’t make it true.
I enjoyed watching your videos Michele , so relatable ! Since I started blogging I had imposter syndrome like never before, constantly feeling like Im a fraud and I’m going to fail. Go to know I’m not alone
If you ever need to talk I am here for you!
I think at varying degrees, most of us suffer from imposter syndrome. I think I do too, sometimes. I hate being congratulated because I feel it’s too much.
But sometimes, I do. It’s quite complicated
Stop comparing–THIS. I’ve come to terms with this for a while now. It’s a sanity checker, really.
I say I don’t compare, but internally I am. That is something I need to work on.
Awesome tips on helping people beat imposter syndrome. It is a tough nut to crack but it has to be done!
It is hard, but you have to start somewhere.
It is interesting how our mind always goes to the negative thoughts of things. I wish we easily went to the I can this, I can learn that, I get those things done, I will figure out how to… thoughts.
I am working to retrain my brain to stop that. I always think of worst-case scenario every single time.
It is so hard to achieve perfection especially with one’s inner self. I am glad to read this post, will share this to my Mommy page group.
We are our biggest critics.
It’s my first time to hear about imposter syndrome. It’s good to be aware of these conditions so that we’d know how to overcome them.
I am surprised most people don’t know about it.
Never though that there such things as impostor syndrome , funny but good to know where I belong and I think I’m the soloist. Hehe
Haha, Glad, you figured out which one you are.
As my son says, remind yourself that you are “that guy/girl” — emphasis on the word “that:. It does help boost your confidence. Anything to help you beat imposter syndrome, right?
I love his thinking. It should be how I talk since I just finished reading I am THAT girl by Alexis Jones.
These are some good tips to come out of the slumber and self doubt. Thank you for sharing and motivating through your post.
Thank you so much for your comment!
There are times that I feel doubt about myself, but I don’t feel stress about it. When it happened, I’ll just pause and take my time (no matter how long it will take). Reading books helps me to relax.
I am learning not to stress about it. When I start to doubt I have to stop myself… Give me my little pep talk and go on about my day.
I dont know, initially when I came accross your article, I do not fit any of these types. But now, I am more of soloist. I am proud of my achievements and think that those were all my efforts. I was wronged and will change that misconception.
Glad you figured something out about yourself.
impostor syndrome is hard to beat and it does come back. I think it has a lot to do with the way we were raised. you made a great post that definitely helps
All it is… is the fear of failure, but you don’t learn unless you try. You learn when you succeed, but you also learn so much more and feel so much prouder when you conquer fear and might fail.
Thanks for sharing this! I think so many of us suffer from imposter syndrome at one time or another. For me, it’s definitely perfectionist and expert. And I think for my son it’s probably natural genius. I had no idea there were actually different kinds so this is very useful information for me to use in helping both of us navigate through finding our voices and being okay doing so.
I am glad you found this very helpful.
Really an inspiring I had from this sharing here, thanks for sharing & learnt much more about imposter syndrome 😀 cheers, siennylovesdrawing.wordpress.com
You are welcome!
Comparing yourself to others is honestly the best advice ever! Also the hardest. But once we stop doing it, it makes our life so much better!
I agree absolutely. I have to stop myself in my tracks when I see that I am comparing myself to someone else.
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