I mean it hit me like a freight train and stopped me in my tracks. Happiness is always the harder choice.
For those of you that are new here, I am currently reading “I am that girl” by Alexis Jones. I am on a mission to read more books this year if you want to check out my 2021 reading list. In the midst of starting this book, there was a sentence in chapter one that just hit me hard
That one sentence completely blew my mind. How is that possible…?
Happiness is always the harder choice?
It took me back for a minute. I mean how can happiness be the harder choice? You don’t choose to be happy it just happens. No! Hunny, that is not how it works. Through everything that is thrown your way, you have the choice to see the bright side or wallow in the darkness.
You maybe be thinking just because I see the bright side doesn’t mean that I am happy! I see you and your glass is half empty- ness.
You my friend have been conditioned to think this because you don’t think you deserve happiness in the midst of darkness.
You have a choice
There is darkness everywhere you look, but it’s up to you to be happy. Choosing to be happy is a hard choice. It is so much easier to look around you and pick out the things you don’t like. And it’s easier to let those things get you down and make you think you are unworthy of happiness.
But guys I am here to tell you 4 Reasons why happiness is always the harder choice!
It’s a hard choice because that means we have to get rid of the underlying belief that “we don’t deserve”. Why don’t we deserve it? Because we somehow grew up and convinced ourselves to think these 4 things.
This almost didn’t happen
I almost didn’t write this post because I was in a funk this week and it was pretty bad yesterday. I made a post on my Instagram about how I was going to feel my feelings. We would see how I was feeling today.
I cuddle up in bed and felt my feelings thinking of all thoughts I was having while in this funk. Today’s post was almost changed to “Doing a stream of consciousness when you’re in a funk”. And I wrote the whole thing.
Ultimately after I got it all out of my head I realized I was letting myself wallow in thoughts I knew weren’t true, but for some reason, I let them creep in and was letting myself be convinced of all these negative untrue shit. Right then and there I made the conscious decision to choose happiness.
When you let these 4 things creep in it makes you think the worse of yourself.
Reasons why happiness is the harder choice
Low Self Esteem
Someone this one always creeps in. This voice you get inside your head slowly starts to tell you these false statements:
“I am not enough”
“You don’t deserve this”
“You are a fraud”
In the back of your mind, you know these thoughts are stupid and silly, but you start to doubt yourself and start jumping to conclusions. These thoughts lead down a very dark web of lies we tell ourselves and eventually you start to think they are 100% true.
When you have low self-esteem it may cause you to settle for a life you are not happy with. You just go through the motions clocking in and out of your 9-5 and thinking this is what your life is meant to be.
No one is meant to be unhappy or miserable in their life.
Lack of support system
One of the reasons why happiness is the harder choice. Is that we lack supportive people around you not to validate what you are doing but more of a Jimney Cricket in your ear saying supportive things to you. Find people who support you in wanting to better your life.
Having that lack of support makes you feel alone and that what you are doing is a waste of time. You don’t need a lot of people, even if you just have one person who cheers you on from the sidelines and they make each day a little bit more bearable.
How you were raised could have an impact on your low self-esteem and could contribute to your lack of support system.
That it is too much work
You have this thought process when looking at happy people that just comes naturally to them. Sometimes that is the case but most often than not it does take them a lot of work. It is a lot of work, but making one small change could instantly boost your mood and change your perspective.
Taking those negative thoughts you have about yourself and changing them to a positive statement slowly changes your mindset. When you realize the negative thoughts you are having and you stop yourself before it gets out of hand establish a boundary you set for yourself and a standard of how you want to react to situations.
Happiness is always the harder choice, but making that conscious effort to change it and change your mindset over time.
Fear of leaving your comfort zone
Fear is a bitch, my friend. You have this whole plan on how you are going to change your life. You know that once you start you would be amazing, but slowly that fear creeps in and all those other reasons start to seem real.
Fear can cause you to stop going after what you want because your comfort zone is well… just that comfy. I wrote a whole series on getting out of your comfort zone. If you are interested you can start here at Finding who you truly are in the unknown
Happiness is always the harder choice
It really is a hard choice. Sometimes it is so easy for you to sit there and think all this negative crap and let it cloud your judgment to the point you don’t think you deserve it.
All it takes is one badass mofo to stop yourself in your tracks and have a little pep talk with yourself. Yes, it is 100% normal to have bad days and I am not saying don’t have them. Hell, I have a lot of them on my end.
But what separates us from the Debbie Downers and Negative Nancy is that we know this is ourselves sike ourselves out. None of what we are thinking is actually true and something underlying is bothering us and we need to get to the root of it.
Things may be a little rough but you know that you will always make the right choice when CHOOSING to be happy. It is not one that comes naturally. It’s the conscious choice we make every day to live our lives looking on the bright side of shitty situations.
Can you think of any more reasons why happiness is always the harder choice?
Until Next Time, Have a Great day!
Many happy people realize happiness is a choice and it’s up to them to intentionally choose it every single day. Happy people are not held hostage by their circumstances and they do not seek happiness in people or possessions.
Happiness is an inside job 🙂 It comes from within us and you’re right it may be hard to find it in tough situations but it is not impossible to find it. We can find from little things
Exactly. It is not impossible to find, you have to consciously choose it.
It’s so important to remind ourselves to choose Happiness. Thanks for the article
I think the societies we live in tend to suppress happiness, making it harder to seem to achieve, but also hormone fluctuations make the feeling of happiness hard to maintain some days. In my case, if I keep my envionment one that makes me feel peaceful or calm, I feel happiness can be easier to attain and maintain, even when I am feeling down.
I can relate. If my home is a mess, my days will be hectic. Once I clean up my space I find calmness.
Happiness is a choice. It’s really a hard choice especially if you are in a bad situation. However, like what you are saying, that it also depends on your mindset. Change it for the better. It will surely change everything. Your sorrows and problems will fade away. Choose happiness, always.
When you feel yourself being a negative nancy, stop and think is this really worth it being upset. When you that pause and think you can change your mindset. It is not going to happen overnight, but as long as you are self-aware and think before reacting. You will be golden.
This such a wise post. I have to admit I have to relate even though I do think Happiness is my choice and I live for that
As a mom I found that putting myself first ON OCASSION makes me happy and it for sure the harder choice!
Right isn’t it so freakin hard?
I’m sorry you had bad days but I’m sure you got good days ahead. I agree it’s a choice and sometimes, it means we have to work for it. Great tips. Thank you for sharing!
It is all apart of life. You are not going to have good without the bad, but definitely can change your mindset on how you react to each situation.
This was an awesome read! This past year I’ve found my self learning to choose the happy path instead. It is work, but its so worth it! Thanks for writing this.
Sometimes you have to take a step back and reflect.
For me, it is hard to find esteem as I want people to tell me what I did good or bad. I am happy when people see what I did good at. I feel like I am on track when people are happy.
Aisasami, I feel you on seeking validation, but in the end, you need to do what makes you happy. No one can tell you what makes you happy. You need to figure that out and then go after it with full force.
You make some good points here Michele, I do believe that you can “choose” To be happy but it’s a lot harder than it may seem for a lot of persons in really hard situation
It is true, it is a lot harder for some. But as long as you are self-aware that you have a choice. YOu can choose to feel your feelings and be down in the dumnps, but don’t let a little hiccup keep you in such a dark place for long. That is why happiness is the harder choice. It is so damn easy to just be mad at everything. It takes real strength to say “not today sadness”.
I once read a book about true happiness and it comes from within and I always believe on that. Although, it is a harder choice for some it is always the good choice.
Agnes, I 100% agree with you.
This is so too. Circumstances always do make choosing happiness that much harder.
Right! Once you think about it you realize damn Happiness is the harder choice. It’s a real eye-opener.
I agree happiness is a harder choice, it’s hard when it means giving up on everything you believe in, we often don’t like leaving our comfort zones.
That’s how you know you are growing. You are fully aware of the situation you are in and know that you need to leave your comfort zone.
100% agree with this! Love your point of view on happiness
Thanks, Renee. I appreciate that!
It can be hard looking on the bright side, and we all do have our negative days. Choosing to be happy can be tough. I try to think positively.
It can be hard. Especially when you are used to choosing the negative path. But when you actually stop yourself and think about it. YOu catch yourself reverting back to being a negative Nancy. You can start to change your mindset and choose happiness when things don’t go your way.
Once again a very deep piece of writing that made me think. The only thing I disagree with is the title – the choice is not hard….it might be a bit complicated to stick to this choice 😉
It’s not about sticking to the choice. No one is happy all the time. This is more about when you are faced with a situation it is always easier to have a pity party, think negatively and hate on everything. When you are so used to doing that… Happiness is the harder choice. You don’t think you deserve it.
I guess everything comes at a price and it doesn’t mean happiness doesn’t require effort and work. We will have to stay resilient and positive in the process, and never look back ~? – Knycx Journeying
Oh, 100% happiness requires effort. When you are so used to being and thinking a certain way it will take a lot of effort on your part to change the way you think and act.
Fear of leaving your comfort zone is a big one for me! Sometimes I am able to do it, but sometimes the fear definitely holds me back. This was a very interesting read.
What fear do you have, Sarah? The fear of what people will think of you or say about you? You need to live your life for yourself. You do not owe anyone anything. The only person you owe in this life is yourself.
such a clear perspective post, Happiness is the harder choice”. Explain to me how…? .this statement, i never ever thought to stop and think about. But as I read your blog post it made me think about so many aspects that you have bought put; Bookmarking this for repeated reading
Aww, thank you, Sumit. I am glad that I made you stop and think. I know it took me by surprise when I read that line in the book I am reading. That was my initial reaction, “Explain to me how..?” Once I took a step back I saw that anytime I feeling a certain way I always resort to being a negative Nancy and I don’t want that anymore.
This is such a very deep and insightful piece of writing. Love although it might be hard at times, it is truly worth it in the end. One might even say that the hardships one endures in the pursuit of love are what makes it all the more worth it.
Thank you, Mervielle.
I agree it is not easy to choose happiness but it is the only possible right choice for me personally
I hear ya, Lyosha. I have been thinking about this since I read it and all week since I have posted this. Changing my mindset to choose happiness even when it is hard is a complete game changer.
making a good decision sometimes may hurt yourself or someone else..when my 2 months vacation is over and about time to work again on the cruise as ship…its very hard for me and my family to let go each other again…but I had to support them by working overseas wich is a good decision for me so I can support them…for the past 20 yrs I am doing it..i always hide them my loneliness when they go with me at the airport..but when the airplane takes off that’s the time I start crying
I understand your loneliness Kenneth, but I am 100% sure your family supports you no matter what and I do hope you talk to your wife about how you are feeling. Just so she can assure you that you are not alone. I am sure there are times that she feels the same way with you gone even though the kids are there. It’s not the same.
Also, I feel like people don’t want to be happy. There will be some people who will want you to be, but not the people who you spend your day around, especially coworkers.
Those damn co-workers. Aisasami, Kill them with kindness. I know it sounds stupid, but choosing happiness & light just pisses some people off because you have something they don’t. It makes them uncomfortable with how happy you are because it forces them to think about their life/ choices and some people are not ready for that. You live authentically you and ignore others. You will feel a weight come off of your shoulders.
It’s all about our perspective on being happy. happiness is everywhere, all we have to do is see! it’s not hard choice if we realise that fact.👍🏻
Agree you can find things to be happy about everywhere.
I totally agree, the false states and doubts bring us down. I always keep it positive. Great post!
They really do though. That pesky Jimney Cricket in our head telling us shit that is not real.
Loved the thought you put into writing this post, happiness is indeed the harder choice but sometimes you just need the right perspective
And I hope by people reading this and interacting will open their eyes a little bit and make them reflect on their life/situations.
I am recently felt very stressed & unhappy at work, so truly agreeable to your point that during this negative situation, actually much easier to fall into the situation that happiness is the harder choice, it’s not easy at times to pull self out from the thiking of being negative & hate things around me. cheers, siennylovesdrawing
Great read! Even I do felt stress and unhappiness most of the time. But when I started to think that I made it this far, I started to gain more confidence in myself not to give up and think positive thoughts. Surrounding yourself with happy and positive people can make you feel happy too!
My mind has always gone to the worst-case scenario. I have always had the worst mindset. Choosing happiness has not been easy. It takes courage and strength to stop yourself in your own track and correct yourself.
I love that you included support in this list. I don’t have a lot of support and some days it really gets me down. People often take it for granted.
I am with you. I don’t have a lot of support either, but I have learned to be my own support.
It’s an individual thing. Some people can simply let go of things easier. And some of us are naturally happier people. We need to look at the positives rather than the negatives more.
It is an individual thing, but you are looking to be more positive in your life… it has to start with your mindset. Which is why happiness is always the harder choice. It is very easy to bask in the negative parts of your life. It takes courage and strength to change your mindset and normal response.
This is so very true, it’s not easy at to pull self out negative thoughts. Happiness is everywhere if we decide to see it.
It is not easy. I still fall into the “Woe is me” mindset and quickly have to shut it down. It is an ongoing process since you spent however many years living like that. Changing your mindset does not happen overnight.
great post and valuable point. I agree: it is always harder to choose happiness. I often that’s because we’ve been taught even as kids to be good, convenient, obedient, smart or whatever but not happy. Happiness mostly is just cast away
That is so sad but is so true. We are never taught to be happy.
This is very insightful. Happiness truly comes from within
It does come from within. It will take some time, but you gotta change your mindset.