All over my for you page on TikTok and Instagram feed has been nothing but aesthetic videos/pictures of women who want to become “that” girl. Attracting the life you want and know you deserve. You know getting their life together one social media post at a time. I will never be THAT type of girl. But I do want to work on becoming the girl who romanticizes her life and becomes the main character in my real life. It is time to buckle down and GYST. Get your sh*t together.
Are you familiar with the term becoming that girl? If you are not… let me paint you a picture
We all have known or wanted to be that girl. She was the popular girl who didn’t have to go out of her way to make friends. People were just naturally drawn to her. She is beautiful in every way without having to try. The one who was smart, funny, and outgoing. She was involved with everything while still getting straight A’s?
Even as an adult we still have that one girl that we just wish we could be. I have decided I don’t want to be her. I want to be me, but better. When I say better I don’t mean that I am horrible, but I could stand to tweak a few things about myself.
Hot mess summer
Just by looking at me, you know that I am not aesthetically pleasing to the eye. I am all over the place. A hot mess you could say I am definitely not Pinterest perfect. Did I want to be? Abso-fucking-lutely! Not only do I want to look like I have my life together I want to actually have my life together. I am sure 80% of us in the world don’t… and that is okay.
Becoming that girl is not going to happen overnight or in time for hot girl summer. Especially with my budget and my mindset. Well, I won’t be having the Megan Thee Stallions version of hot girl summer. Living in Florida I will have my own special kind of hot girl summer. I mean it will be more like hot mess summer and I am perfectly okay with that… why?
Because I want to be the real-life version of that girl. I don’t want to be fake. Not saying these girls are out here faking it, but I can’t trust someone who has that perfect of an Instagram feed.
I want to be that girl that everyone could relate to.
So here is what I am going to do or have been doing for a 6-month glow-up working towards being that girl. So join me in trying to become “that” girl.
Becoming that girl
First things first, I’m the realest.
Thank you, Iggy Azalea for that iconic line. The first thing I would suggest to anyone wanting to improve themselves is to read “I am that girl” by Alexis Jones.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it. But OMG I will re-read that book for years to come. I have so many notes in my journal of my favorite chapters, quotes, lines, and stories. My book has a lot of post-it note tabs in it. Some lines from her book have become affirmations I say to myself.
Alexis Jones lit such a fire under my ass more than Rachel Hollis ever could have. If you want to check this book out here is a link to amazon. If you do purchase this book from this link I will get a small commission. You don’t have to but it is appreciated.
Take 10-15 minutes every day throughout the week to self-reflect. Take a look inside yourself and around your house to see areas you think you could improve on. The goal is to improve on who you are already, not change yourself completely to be like someone else. Becoming that girl is about being comfortable in your own skin, but knowing what areas you could use a boost in.
You could be really great at making friends online, but not be as socially active in real life. So you might want to work on talking to strangers in your everyday life.
There are 7 areas of personal growth you can work on to become that girl.
8 areas of personal growth
Doing something that sharpens your mind. Read more books, learn something new, or do crossword puzzles. Anything that lets you use your mind for critical thinking. Keep your brain on its toes.
I am a big advocate of doing your shadow work. That could be changing your mindset to think more positively. Confronting why you have anger issues. Anything that has to do with your internal emotions. Working through all the past trauma or any unresolved issues that may be preventing you from shining bright like a diamond!
When I think of physical I think of 2 different areas. Physical can mean your environment, where you live, or who you are around. Your environment could be affecting your mental health. Change up something to breathe life into your physical environment.
I also think physical body. Working out, eating healthy, or just your physical health overall. Choose to work on something from both.
Making new friends, and reconnecting with old ones. Maybe you have become a hermit and stay home all the time. It is time to get out and do something. Even if you have to do something you have always wanted to do alone. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. I have a series on getting out of your comfort zone you can read here if you are interested.
It is time to start making your money work for you. There are things I wish I learned when I was younger and if you are in your 20 or under who is reading this… Start making a plan for your money now. If you are over 20… do the same thing and just know we are in the same boat and should have started earlier in life. Set up a weekly or monthly budget, Save $500 by 7/18, learn how to invest in cryptocurrency, and Pay off $ 5000 of debt by 1/1/2022. Maybe you just want to save as much money as your can because you may have a big goal such as buying a house, a car, or starting a business. Whatever your goal is it is time to start challenging yourself to be better with your money.
Spiritual doesn’t have to mean religious unless you are into that. You can work to strengthen your relationship with God. I am not a religious person so I look for ways to connect to the spiritual side by finding ways to ground myself. Figuring out my core values as a person. Defining what I think is right and wrong. Walking through nature connecting with mother earth. Something that just brings me a sense of peace within myself.
We should always be pushing ourselves in our careers. Doing something that can make you more money. We all want to make more money or find our purpose in life. It doesn’t matter if you work at Mcdonald’s flipping burgers. If you love doing that, wonderful, but do something on the side to make you some extra cash. Find more ways to have more streams of money coming in.
Whatever you want for your career do something to help yourself along.
This is whatever you want it to be. This is something you do for yourself. Yes, all the previous 6 are for yourself, but this one is meant for you to have fun with. Do something you have always wanted to do. Finally, start doing that hobby you always wanted to do. Go explore your city or state. Get out and do something fun.
Because when you are working on yourself you will be presented with a whole lotta low moments. Moments you didn’t want to face. But in doing your shadow work you are stripping yourself down to the bare minimum. Undoing all of the generational
6 months, 12 months
Philippa Lally, Ph.D. is a senior researcher at the University College London. She published a study that found it takes on average 66 days for a habit. It could be quicker for others, but again on average its 66 days.
Image if you started doing 7 things, 1 from each area of personal growth did them for 66 days to make them a habit and then added a new habit every 66 days. Doing things that improved you, your mood, and your environment by the end of 2021 you could have 21 new habits.
How crazy is that?
Image if you did that for a full year… you could for 35 new habits in a year. If you know you could keep up with 7 that is okay. Start with one thing you have always wanted to improve and do it for 66 days.
Too much, too fast
Often times we jump headfirst into completely changing ourselves because we think who we are is not worthy of the things we want out of life and that is simply untrue. We want to completely change ourselves and end up failing because it’s too much, too fast. There is no need to change everything about yourself. We just need to work on the areas we are not so good at.
Being “that” girl is not about being fake and changing your whole personality. Becoming that girl is about being comfortable in your own skin… knowing what you excel at and knowing what could use a little work. Those are the parts we want to work on making better.
I know that I am funny and bubbly in person, but on camera, I don’t come across that way. It doesn’t mean I should completely change who I am and become some overly obnoxious person on camera. It just means I need to work on my self-confidence. There are things that I know I need to work on and I am glad that you guys are here to join me or just following along.
Make a daily routine list
At the beginning of this post, I said to take 10-15 minutes a day to think of things you want to improve. Now it’s time to make a list. Once you have that list 1 from each category or even if you have 2 things from the same category to work on. Whatever you want to work on first… turn it into a feasible daily routine. Don’t try to fool yourself by saying you are going to wake up at 5 am to get an hour’s workout in when you know you sleep until 7a every day.
That is just setting yourself up for failure and what happens when we fail. We spiral down the rabbit hole of negative self-talk, and go back to thinking we are the quirky sidekick when we know damn well we are the main character!
Becoming that girl as we said is not going to happen overnight. This is your journey to becoming the real-life version of that girl. No one can tell you if you are or are not that girl. Being that girl means whatever you want it to mean as long as you are comfortable in your own skin. Don’t wish you were someone else, make others wish they were you.
Let me know in the comments below if you have ever heard of becoming that girl and would you ever/are you going to participate?
Until next time, have a great day… remember you are a badass
I will see you in the next one