I didn’t really have anything planned for this week because I have been slacking. A couple of months ago, I was ahead and instead of using my time wisely I slacked… and here we are with nothing prepared. I could blame it on other things going on in my life but in the end, it is my own fault. So I thought I would share what goes through my mind on a weekly basis. These are the thoughts I think… the good, the bad, and the ugly.
This week was a pretty good week. Read until the end because I am doing a giveaway for a copy of Jen Sincero’s You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life.
I think it is important to document this sort of thing so you can see what you need to work on and what you excel in. It is a great way to get to know yourself and where your mindset sits. One thing you have to remember is that personal growth is a journey. It involves all the parts that make up you. That means your past, present, and your future self. This journey is free of an ultimate destination and rather, just going in a direction.
Each day could mean something different. Some days you go forward and think of the future other days you are stuck in the past. Some days you might not give a shit about anything and that is okay. You don’t need to “work” on personal growth every day. That would be fucking exhausting.
**WARNING: a lot of my deep thoughts are provoked because of pictures and quotes I see online**
what goes through my mind on Friday
I saw this quote on Instagram that just made me think and I have been thinking about it nonstop since I saw it.
It made me stop and think about all the times I ruined so many things in my life by the constant need to be a negative Nancy. I was always in my feelings with the mentality of it was me against the world. It makes me think of all the times something amazing could have happened if I would have just changed my mindset sooner. Am I playing the what-if game? Absolutely.
But not in the way you think. I am not thinking what if as in I am regretting anything. Because I don’t. My path took me in a different direction, but eventually, I finally made it here. It just makes you think that if for one split second I stopped and thought about the way I was acting at that moment how many wonderful amazing things could have happened. How many core memories of mine could have been made.
Using self-reflection to learn from past mistakes and not to repeat them in the future. I want to make as many memories as possible.
Saturday
I bring this up because I just dropped him off at the vet’s to get neutered. So I am all in my feelings right now.
On January 1, 2022, we took in a stray cat from outside. Normally I wouldn’t do that, but something in our hearts told us we had to. He followed Mike to the store that night and then followed him all the way home. He is a young cat maybe 4/5 months old. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take on a 4th cat, but I couldn’t see putting him back outside. He was too sweet and precious to be living outside. I did my due diligence and posted in our neighborhood Facebook group a picture of this cat to find his owner. Nobody has gotten back to me.
Sooooo…… With all of that being said this cat who Mike has named George, has been with us for a little over a month now. There is not a day that goes by that Mike nor I have not thought someone really missed out on this cat. Because we don’t know if he was someone’s cat and they decided they didn’t want him or he was a product of a feral cat outside. We don’t know and we question how he survived this long because as I said he was too sweet and precious to be living outside.
My thoughts
I bring this up because it makes me think that things happen when you least expect them to or when the universe knows you can handle it. Mike and I always said that we were not going to get another animal until our other cats pass. We only said that because we rent. Those dang pet fees, man! If I owned my own house I would have one giant catio outside for my cat sanctuary. I don’t like seeing animals without a home, it breaks my heart.
It’s like the universe had a plan for George. We were meant to find him because he looks like our cat Tubby, talks like our cat Momo and is sassy like our cat Chewie. He is a mixture of all three of our cats. He has this amazing personality that just melts your heart. The universe knew that we would take care of him and give him a loving home.
I am getting emotional just thinking that he was an outside cat and now that he is ours we get to experience all of his firsts. Like learning how to use the litter box. Thank god that only took a week or so. (my poor couch) We got to watch him play with his first laser pointer, experiencing catnip for the first time. Watching him interact with our cats.
All of these firsts just make me appreciate him even more. You can see on his face he is a happy content kitty. He hasn’t even tried to escape the house. In reality, he doesn’t go by the door at all. He knows he is safe here.
That is what goes through my mind on a daily basis when I look at him.
Exploring my appreciation and gratitude on a daily basis that we took in another cat to give him a loving forever home.
Sunday
Last year in April or May Mike and I entered a contest to win a room on a cruise going to Mexico from our local radio station 102.5 the Bone. We haven’t heard anything about it so we thought we did not win. In all honesty, I forgot we entered. Out of nowhere last week, Mike got a call from one of the Radio hosts telling Mike he won. It has been a whirl-win since then. Getting everything in order for us to go on this trip.
I am extremely grateful that we are getting this opportunity to go. Anything big or small I want to celebrate because a win is a win. I constantly think back to when we were barely making ends meet. Spent most of our time at home conserving gas to make sure we could get to work that week.
We are not rolling in dough right now, but we are out there hustling every day to create multiple streams of income so we can live a better life than we did 10 years ago.
I am just really grateful for all of the amazing adventures we have been on in our relationship. Since we have worked on changing our mindset and trying to think more positively have brought so many new adventures our way. That all we can do is be grateful for everything that has happened is going to happen and will be happening in the future.
Monday
I recently started doing Uber Eats to make some extra money to go towards a vacation, but I have become completely obsessed with it. To the point, I was having dreams about taking orders for a week and a half straight. When I take a day or two off I feel guilty. It feels like I am being lazy hanging around the house cleaning and doing laundry. Also, it feels like I should put those on the back burner and go make money. Somehow someway I am always putting this negative pressure on myself. It is just like any other job you would have. It is okay if you take 2 days off to recoup. I need to get that through my head.
Productivity isn’t everything. It is okay to take some time for yourself.
![photo of girl drinking coconut](https://i0.wp.com/ourredonkulouslife.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/pexels-photo-1753677.jpeg?resize=470%2C313&ssl=1)
What goes through my mind on Tuesday
What goes through my mind… I am going on vacation next month and I have noticed that I am becoming more concerned with my looks. This month I have been focusing on what I will be wearing, how will my hair look, getting my nails done. I want to look my best for vacation, but a part of me thinks I need to change everything about myself so I can have an aesthetically pleasing vacation. I am putting this negative pressure on myself that I won’t have a good time if I don’t look my best.
Which is completely stupid. I should want to do my hair, get my nails done, and dress cute because I want to not because I feel I HAVE to. Its vacation. It is about having a good time with Mike and celebrating our upcoming 10 year anniversary.
I still fall back into that mindset of I am not enough. Not good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. It is hard to shake that mindset when you thought it for 25 years of your life. We all have those “I’m so ugly” days. Just need to take a step back because I am a work in progress still and need to be patient with myself.
Wednesday
What goes through my mind… Am I pushing my personal growth enough? What am I doing to grow as a person? I constantly question myself and my growth. Am I just faking it til I make it? Sometimes that is how it feels. Everything I write about on this blog is something I have gone through or am going through. But because personal growth isn’t something you can tangibly measure on a daily basis sometimes it may feel like you aren’t doing enough and that is how I feel every freakin day. Constantly I am questioning myself and the things I am doing.
Guess that is a sign of growth constantly questioning yourself, but sometimes I wish I had a better way to measure my growth as a person. I know I wrote a post on measuring your progress, but sometimes I just want that external validation that I am growing without all the being in my feelings to see it internally.
Thursday
My friend posted this quote on Facebook by Brooke Hampton. She said “I feel like I should want more, but I don’t. I want less. Less stuff, less rushing, less stress, less noise. I want simplicity. I felt that. That quote there reminds me of why I declutter my house all the time.
Going up poor, not having all the things you wanted as a kid sparks this need for nostalgia when you start making your own money and have your own place to live. You can decorate how you want, buy all the things you want. I have noticed though the older I get the less stuff I want.
The same goes for all the other things she mentions. I want less stress, less noise, less rushing. The constant need to go go go is something I don’t want anymore, but I honestly don’t know how to turn it off. I think that is something we learned being millennials. We have to be “go go go” all the time. If we take time for ourselves or for our mental health we are weak. If you got time to lean you got time to clean. I heard that at EVERY job I had growing up.
I think that’s why now I just want to slow down and enjoy the life I have.
what goes through my mind on Friday
What goes through my mind on Friday… You suck for not putting out a blog post last week and you suck for slacking on social media. That was my first thought. Then my second was I have been “go go go” all of last year. Posting consistently on Our Redonkulous Life every Friday at 8a. I get my social media posts ready a week in advance. This last week or so I was just over all of the pressure and said eff it.
My blog will not suffer if I don’t post this one Friday. Did I still beat myself up a little bit… of course, I did. But I also kept telling myself… it is not that big of a deal. I am allowed to take time off and we will just pick up right where we left off.
What goes through my mind on a weekly basis
This is What goes through my mind on a weekly basis… I know this post is honestly probably lame as shit, but I have been having a lack of inspiration lately. So I thought this would be a cool idea and halfway through I didn’t really like it, But I already started it so I decided to finish it.
Another thing that has been going through my mind is having a giveaway. I would love to gift someone with a copy of Jen Sincero’s You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, but I don’t know how to go about it. I have been thinking about it since January, but I keep putting it off.
But I figured I better just do it and quit thinking about it. So…
Sign up for my newsletter and leave me a comment below letting me know what it’s been like on your personal growth journey for a chance to win my extra copy of You Are A Badass.
**RULES**
Win a copy of Jen Sincero’s You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
For US residences only.
NO PURCHASE IS NECESSARY.
The giveaway will run for a week starting 2/18 – 2/28 and I will announce the winner in my 3/4/22 blog post.
Please share with friends and family.
Each person who enters will have their name entered into a 3 party site that will choose a winner at random.
Until next time, Have a great day! Remember you are a badass!
![What goes through my mind](https://i0.wp.com/ourredonkulouslife.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/2-1.png?resize=640%2C960&ssl=1)
![What goes through my mind](https://i0.wp.com/ourredonkulouslife.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/3-1.png?resize=640%2C960&ssl=1)
![What goes through my mind](https://i0.wp.com/ourredonkulouslife.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/1-1.png?resize=640%2C960&ssl=1)
I know I posted on Instagram too but my personal growth journey had been crazy. After leaving a narcissist from hell I was at my lowest. He stole my self esteem, my confidence, my heart. But since then I’ve dedicated time to working in myself in every aspect. I’ve grown so much. My confidence has tripled, I know my worth, I’ve lost weight and started taking care of myself physically and mentally. I still have a long way to go. So much more healing. He still scares the hell out of me and I need to work on that. My journey is far from over but I’ve made so much progress already.
That is amazing to hear! It took me a long time after leaving my narcissist ex. It has been 11 years and in the past 3 years, a lot has changed because I took the time to get over my own bullshit that I let everyone else put on me. I see your posts all over Instagram and I can see a huge change from when we first met til now! If you ever wanna chat just hit me up.