I felt really disconnected from my step-daughter. I wanted to have
Yeah, I didn’t either. While that may be true, I used to just look at her and smile while nodding my head throwing out the occasional *WOW, OMG and What no way! So cool”. (Hey don’t judge, fake it til you make is my saying) To be honest though, I kinda still don’t get it, but I’m okay with that. However, do not get me started on “Five Nights at Freddie’s”
I never thought I would have a special hobby with my step kids. I really thought I would be known as the uncool stepmom for eternity. However, one day I picked up Mikayla from her mom’s and she says to me randomly. “Seashell (She couldn’t say, Michele when she was younger, she said it and it stuck), I don’t know you as well as I think I should. (Pause right there) at that moment in my head, all I could think of was how this was the moment… its either going to make or break you guys. (Be cool Michele, Don’t freak out…DONT FREAK OUT)
A relationship will happen Don’t freak out, maybe… hopefully
It’s hard being a step-parent. I spent years wondering if my step-kids like me. Although, being with their father for 7 years now, I know they do. However, it was very hard to find something in common with them besides their father. Nonetheless, at that moment the best words I have ever
I tried very hard to not be pushy but I asked her if she had any questions for me now since we were alone in the car. Her response, showing her future FOX news reporting self, holding me in suspense as she thought of a question. I am freaking out she is showing interest in me, don’t blow this!
She looks up at me and says ever so calmly “What it… Ummm… your favorite color?”
REALLY!! That’s what you wanna know? Stump me with the hard hitting questions. I plead the fifth…. Just kidding. However, that was my real response to her and she laughed. I told her it was purple. Although, We didn’t really get to do anything together til months later.
Music creating relationships
We have always made it our mission not to spend to much time in front of a screen. I feel it is part of my responsibility to mold and shape our children’s minds into well functioning citizens in this crazy, ever changing world. I feel like sometimes that doesn’t really happen when your children are always on a screen, be it via video games, YouTube, tablets, phones, Etc… You get it. We had some much fun being kids outside and I want Mikayla to experience that.
rome wasn’t built in a day, your relationship cant be either
One day months later, Mike had to work out of town on a Saturday. Which means Mikayla and I were home by ourselves. I put on music to clean like I normally do and was jamming out singing. Music gets me very zen and in a positive mindset, but apparently it also means I sing to myself… ALOT. It has become such a normal thing in my house to the point where my step-daughter has starting to do it, which now has turned into our bonding time. FINALLY… IT HAPPENED A BOND IS FORMING!
We somehow got into singing karaoke on YouTube. We sat there for hours and just sang and laughed. Tried recording some songs for YouTube, but she got too scared. In other words, it ended up just being me singing.
At this time Mikayla is 6 or 7 years old, she finally got into singing. 3 Years later it is still our favorite thing to do when dad is not home. Still hours are spent wasting time singing. Its crazy how music can bring people together. I remember the song that brought us together was “Lost boy by Ruth B”. Its such a beautiful song. Take a listen sometime if you haven’t heard it.
My step-daughter likes me… she really like me?
However, 4 years later Mikayla tells us she has decided to enter in her school’s talent show. Specifically, she wanted to sing. To my surprise, I didn’t think she would ever to it because even though she and I sang together. Mikayla had very bad stage fright. Despite having that fear, she ROCKED it. In other words, She didn’t move on the stage at all but still did an amazing job.
It may be selfish, but through out her performance I thought, did I inspire her? Did I help her decide to do this? Did I have a good influence on her? Not that I’m looking for the answers to take all the credit, but I like to thing our late night karaoke sessions did have some kind of impact on her.
Moral of the story about creating a relationship with step-children
Moral of this little “Story Time with Michele”, is that if you are finding it hard to relate to your kids or kids in general. Just pay a little attention to them and show you are willing to listen (even if you still don’t get it) and be your awesome, goofy self…
Above all, She is and always will be my favorite duet partner for home karaoke. I can’t wait till she gets older and we can sing in public more. You know because even though I am a parent… I still like karaoke. I hope you all enjoyed this post, please comment and let me know what your special hobby with your kids are? After you do that head on over to our Facebook group where we can continue the conversation. Unless you wanna get to know my family (click here) a little bit more, check out our first post. I’ll look for you over there.
Until next time guys, have a great day!