Building my confidence in a plus-size body

Society wants plus-size women to take up as little room as possible. Sit down shut up. Just because we are existing doesn’t mean they have to acknowledge us. The fashion they make for plus-size women is fucking hideous. All those optical illusion patterns make us plus-size gals a walking punchline. No wonder some of us have a hard time being confident in the body we currently have. I am sick and tired of feeling this way. So let’s discuss how I am working on building my confidence as a plus-size woman.

Plus-size women are not meant to be seen as sexy, confident, or wanted. At least that is what society is pushing to the masses. What I don’t understand is how or when it shifted that plus-size bodies were unacceptable.

Within this shift of plus size being hated on by all… I lost my confidence in myself. I let others dictate my worth and just accepted. I stood on the sideline watching everyone else live their life, but I tried with all my might to tuck my fat body into the corner and hope for the best. Here is to building my confidence. It’s not going to be easy, but there is no point in being miserable in a body I can’t change with the snap of my fingers.

I wish it worked that way, but it doesn’t.

A little history lesson of plus-size gals

In the Renaissance period, larger women were deemed sexy. It was all about beauty and authenticity. Fuller figured women were deemed both powerful and beautiful. All you have to do is a simple Google search for “Renaissance Art”. You will see thousands of paintings. Some of the most famous ones would include the Mona Lisa painted in 1503/04. She has broad shoulders and is sitting down but you know Mona Lisa was a BBL (big beautiful lady). Titian’s “Woman in a Mirror” painting. She is absolutely gorgeous and is shown to have a belly. Painted in 1512-1515

Some more examples not in the renaissance era are Henri-Pierre Danloux’s painting “Portrait de femme à la robe Blanche” 1796. The painting is almost life-like showing she has a slight double chin, stomach rolls, and her hips don’t lie. Take a look at the 1909 painting Siberian Woman by Vasily Surikov. There is no way this woman is mistaken for a slim woman.

During this time women who were on the heavier side showed themselves as being rich. They had the money to eat because of their weight. Full figured women were also deemed fertile because they had bigger breasts and hips. When men were looking for a bride plus size gals were in demand.

It was nice to know we were a hot commodity. But something changed along the way and now we are made the butt of the joke not only in society but in the fashion and beauty industry as well.

Building my confidence

I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago about dealing with those “I’m so ugly” days and it is time to put those words to good use. I talked about taking responsibility and here I am doing that. In that post, I wrote about how you need to stop playing the victim and do shit for yourself. No one else is going to do it for you and no one else is forcing you to do it or not do it.

This right here is the advice I wrote and that I NEED to take.

Are you dressing how you want to dress or are you wearing things just because it was on sale, on clearance, half off at the thrift store… Are you wearing make-up? If that’s the thing you are into. If you are not… are you taking care of your skin? What about your hair? Are you styling it or are you throwing it up in a messy bun and calling it a day?

Are you doing the things you know would make you feel beautiful? I bet the answer is no. You don’t have to go all out to the 9’s and 10’s, but if you are not putting in the effort no wonder you feel ugly. You HAVE to schedule in time to do something that makes you feel beautiful. Don’t blame it on other things.

I have let myself go a little bit since working from home. There are some changes I need to make because I am tired of having these rollercoaster days. I want more good than bad days but that doesn’t seem to be happening with what I am doing so let’s shake this bitch up.

How I am building my confidence

I also mentioned a few weeks ago that I was in a slump in my personal growth journey. This might be one of the reasons why. I was so focused on the inside working so hard on my past trauma and issues… I haven’t really done anything for the outside. Sometimes the outside is neglected. Well, that is about to change…

Don’t give a fuck

This is numero uno in how I am building my confidence… After I made the video on YouTube I felt a lot lighter. It was a good therapy session to get all that shit off my chest and realized it is like everything else in my life. I just need to not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks. I can’t lose weight in 10 minutes. Can’t change the size of my thighs, arms, or belly on a whim… So I need to start doing what I want to do for myself. No one else can do it. This has got to be done by me. So forget everyone else and just say fuck it!

Learn how to do my makeup

I have been doing the same makeup routine since I first learned how to do makeup. Also, the last time I actually did my makeup was September 15, 2020. It has been a long time and it’s time to change it up. Learn how to contour, and how to do winged eyeliner. I tried it once, sucked at it, and gave up. Practice makes decent… not perfect. I have a whole box of makeup I never use. Time to bust it out and play dress up like we did as kids. I will be recording a YouTube video playing with makeup. If you are interested in checking it out please subscribe!

Learn how to do my hair

When I want to start building my confidence I have to put myself outside of my comfort zone. I know it defeats the purpose of being confident because you are LITERALLY doing something that doesn’t make you confident. Practice makes decent. We not going for perfection just decent and figuring out the things that make us happy. When we are doing the things that make us feel good and feel happy… confidence follows.

After learning how to do makeup I want to work on styling my hair. I have long purple-ish hair that is down to my butt and I always wear it in a messy bun. That is fine for cleaning and lounging around the house… But how am I supposed to get cute pictures out and about in Tampa if I look like a raggamuffin all the time? Those cute Instagram pics aren’t going to happen by themselves, Michele! You have to put in some effort. So I will be making videos about that as well. I want to document my whole process, so I can see the difference from now til my inner badass is just out ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!

Figure out my style

Clothes have been a really hard thing for me. I have days where I love my body and the outfit I am wearing is fire, but more so lately I have been feeling frumpy. My purple hair shows off my eccentric personality, but my clothes sometimes don’t. Last month or so I did a closet clean out and got rid of a contractor garbage bag full of clothes. However, I might need to do it again because I feel like what is in my closet doesn’t reflect who I am 100%. I have some good pieces but I need to step up my clothing game once I go through my closet AGAIN.

If you know of any plus-size clothing brands that I should check out please let me know in the comment section.

In redoing my wardrobe, I want to find clothes that fit me, feel comfortable, and are fashionable. No more buying clothes or keeping clothes that “might” fit one day. I need to accept the body I am in… thunder thighs, belly fat, jiggly arms, and everything else that moves in between. I can work towards losing weight while enjoying the body I am in. It is time to get excited about the clothes in my closet. Time to push the envelope and let my inner baddie out! LOL, I felt really old saying that but it is 100% true. That is also an adventure I am going to document.

That is not the end…

This is just the beginning. My little slump is not only with my outer appearance but also with my environment. I need to change some things around in my house and declutter a lot of shit that is not useful to me anymore. I am so happy to finally figure out what was causing my growth slump. It has been A WHILE since I have been excited to get things done. So I think this will be a nice new fresh adventure.

I know this may not seem like a surefire way to start building my confidence. Some may say it’s superficial, but I have been working so hard on myself on the inside… I need the outside to reflect that. Walking around in my pajamas and a messy bun is not doing anything for my confidence. On some days it makes it worse. We need to love our bodies just as they are RIGHT NOW and quit waiting for the RIGHT MOMENT. The fact that you are alive and existing in this world is the right moment. So start taking advantage of it now.

I want to fall in love with doing little things for myself. Doing my makeup, and hair, or picking out an outfit. I don’t want it to feel like work. Making myself feel pretty, beautiful, or sexy shouldn’t feel like work. So join me in my journey of becoming a badass confident woman!

Until next time, have a great day! Remember you are a badass!