For those of you that are new here, I am currently reading “I am that girl” by Alexis Jones. I am on a mission to read more books this year if you want to check out my 2021 reading list. In the midst of starting this book, there was a sentence in chapter one that just hit me hard. I mean it hit me like a freight train and stopped me in my tracks. The sentence was “Happiness is the harder choice”. Explain to me how…?
How is happiness the harder choice?
It took me back for a minute. I mean how can happiness be the harder choice? You don’t choose to be happy it just happens. No! Hunny, that is not how it works. Through everything that is thrown your way, you have the choice to see the bright side or wallow in the darkness.
You maybe be thinking just because I see the bright side doesn’t mean that I am happy! I see you and your glass is half empty- ness.
You my friend have been condition to think this because you don’t think you deserve happiness in the midst of darkness.
You have a choice
There is darkness everywhere you look, but it’s up to you to be happy. It is so much easier to look around you and pick out the things you don’t like. And it’s easier to let those things get you down and make you think you are unworthy of happiness.
But guys I am here to tell you that HAPPINESS IS THE HARDER CHOICE!
It’s the harder choice because that means we have to get rid of the underlying belief that “we don’t deserve”. Why don’t we deserve it? Because we somehow grew up and convinced ourselves to think these 4 things.
This almost didn’t happen
I almost didn’t write this post because I was in a funk this week and it was pretty bad yesterday. I made a post on my Instagram about how I was going to feel my feelings. We would see how I was feeling today.
I cuddle up in bed and felt my feelings thinking of all thoughts I was having while in this funk. Today’s post was almost changed to “Doing a stream of consciousness when you’re in a funk”. And I wrote the whole thing.
Ultimately after I got it all out of my head I realized I was letting myself wallow in thoughts I knew wasn’t true, but for some reason, I let them creep in and was letting myself be convinced all this negative untrue shit. Right then and there I made the conscious decision to choose happiness.
When you let these 4 things creep in it makes you think the worse of yourself.
Low Self Esteem
Someone his one always creeps in. This voice you get inside your head slowly starts to tell you these false statements:
“I am not enough”
“You don’t deserve this”
“You are a fraud”
In the back of your mind, you know these thoughts are stupid and silly, but you start to doubt yourself and start jumping to conclusions. These thoughts lead down a very dark web of lies we tell ourselves and eventually you start to think they are 100% true.
When you have low self esteem it may cause you to settle for a life you are not happy with. You just go through the motions clocking in and out of your 9-5 and think this is what your life is meant to be.
No one is meant to be unhappy or miserable in their life.
Lack of support system
Having a lack of supportive people around you not to validate what you are doing but more of a Jimney Cricket in your ear saying supportive things to you. Finding people who support you in wanting to better your life.
Having that lack of support makes you feel alone and that what you are doing is a waste of time. You don’t need a lot of people, even if you just have one person who cheers you on from the sidelines and they make each day a little bit more bearable.
How you were raise could have an impact on your low self esteem and could contribute to your lack of support system.
That it is too much work
You have this thought process when looking at happy people that is just comes naturally for them. Sometimes that is the case but most often than not it does take them a lot of work. It is a lot of work, but making one small change could instantly boost your mood and change your perspective.
Taking those negative thoughts you have about yourself and changing them to a positive statement slowly changes your mindset. When you realize the negative thoughts you are having and you stop yourself before it gets out of hand establishes a boundary you set for yourself and a standard of how you want to react to situations.
Happiness is the harder choice, but making that conscious effort to change it and change your mindset over time.
Fear of leaving your comfort zone
Fear is a bitch, my friend. You have this whole plan on how you are going to change your life. You knwo that once you start you would be amazing, but slowly that fear creeps in and all those other reasons start to seem real.
Fear can cause you to stop going after what you want because your comfort zone is well… just that comfy. I wrote a whole series on getting out of your comfort zone. If you are interested you can start here at Finding who you truly are in the unknown
Happiness is the harder choice
Happiness is the harder choice. It is so easy for you to sit there and think all this negative crap and let it cloud your judgment to the point you don’t think you deserve.
It takes one badass mofo to stop yourself in your tracks and have a little pep talk with yourself. Yes, it is 100% normal to have bad days and I am not saying don’t have them. Hell, I have a lot of them on my end.
But what separates us from the Debbie Downers and Negative Nancy’s is that we know this is ourselves sike ourselves out. None of what we are thinking is actually true and something underlying is bothering us and we need to get to the root of it.
Things made be a little rough but you know that you will always make the harder choice of CHOOSING to be happy. It is not one that comes naturally. It’s the conscious choice we make every day to live our lives looking on the bright side of shitty situations.
Have you made the hard choice?
Until Next Time, Have a Great day!