4 Reasons why happiness is always the harder choice

For those of you that are new here, I am currently reading “I am that girl” by Alexis Jones. I am on a mission to read more books this year if you want to check out my 2021 reading list. In the midst of starting this book, there was a sentence in chapter one that just hit me hard. I mean it hit me like a freight train and stopped me in my tracks. The sentence was “Happiness is the harder choice”. Explain to me how…?

happiness the harder choice

How is happiness the harder choice?

It took me back for a minute. I mean how can happiness be the harder choice? You don’t choose to be happy it just happens. No! Hunny, that is not how it works. Through everything that is thrown your way, you have the choice to see the bright side or wallow in the darkness.

You maybe be thinking just because I see the bright side doesn’t mean that I am happy! I see you and your glass is half empty- ness.

You my friend have been condition to think this because you don’t think you deserve happiness in the midst of darkness.

man holding a sign
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You have a choice

There is darkness everywhere you look, but it’s up to you to be happy. It is so much easier to look around you and pick out the things you don’t like. And it’s easier to let those things get you down and make you think you are unworthy of happiness.

But guys I am here to tell you that HAPPINESS IS THE HARDER CHOICE!

It’s the harder choice because that means we have to get rid of the underlying belief that “we don’t deserve”. Why don’t we deserve it? Because we somehow grew up and convinced ourselves to think these 4 things.

woman sleeping Happiness is the harder choice
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This almost didn’t happen

I almost didn’t write this post because I was in a funk this week and it was pretty bad yesterday. I made a post on my Instagram about how I was going to feel my feelings. We would see how I was feeling today.

I cuddle up in bed and felt my feelings thinking of all thoughts I was having while in this funk. Today’s post was almost changed to “Doing a stream of consciousness when you’re in a funk”. And I wrote the whole thing.

Ultimately after I got it all out of my head I realized I was letting myself wallow in thoughts I knew wasn’t true, but for some reason, I let them creep in and was letting myself be convinced all this negative untrue shit. Right then and there I made the conscious decision to choose happiness.

When you let these 4 things creep in it makes you think the worse of yourself.

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Low Self Esteem

Someone his one always creeps in. This voice you get inside your head slowly starts to tell you these false statements:

“I am not enough”
“You don’t deserve this”
“You are a fraud”

In the back of your mind, you know these thoughts are stupid and silly, but you start to doubt yourself and start jumping to conclusions. These thoughts lead down a very dark web of lies we tell ourselves and eventually you start to think they are 100% true.

When you have low self esteem it may cause you to settle for a life you are not happy with. You just go through the motions clocking in and out of your 9-5 and think this is what your life is meant to be.

No one is meant to be unhappy or miserable in their life.

people holding hands together closely Happiness is the harder choice
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Lack of support system

Having a lack of supportive people around you not to validate what you are doing but more of a Jimney Cricket in your ear saying supportive things to you. Finding people who support you in wanting to better your life.

Having that lack of support makes you feel alone and that what you are doing is a waste of time. You don’t need a lot of people, even if you just have one person who cheers you on from the sidelines and they make each day a little bit more bearable.

How you were raise could have an impact on your low self esteem and could contribute to your lack of support system.

woman in white shirt showing frustration
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That it is too much work

You have this thought process when looking at happy people that is just comes naturally for them. Sometimes that is the case but most often than not it does take them a lot of work. It is a lot of work, but making one small change could instantly boost your mood and change your perspective.

Taking those negative thoughts you have about yourself and changing them to a positive statement slowly changes your mindset. When you realize the negative thoughts you are having and you stop yourself before it gets out of hand establishes a boundary you set for yourself and a standard of how you want to react to situations.

Happiness is the harder choice, but making that conscious effort to change it and change your mindset over time.

greyscale photography of woman wearing long sleeved top Happiness is the harder choice
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Fear of leaving your comfort zone

Fear is a bitch, my friend. You have this whole plan on how you are going to change your life. You knwo that once you start you would be amazing, but slowly that fear creeps in and all those other reasons start to seem real.

Fear can cause you to stop going after what you want because your comfort zone is well… just that comfy. I wrote a whole series on getting out of your comfort zone. If you are interested you can start here at Finding who you truly are in the unknown

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Happiness is the harder choice

Happiness is the harder choice. It is so easy for you to sit there and think all this negative crap and let it cloud your judgment to the point you don’t think you deserve.

It takes one badass mofo to stop yourself in your tracks and have a little pep talk with yourself. Yes, it is 100% normal to have bad days and I am not saying don’t have them. Hell, I have a lot of them on my end.

But what separates us from the Debbie Downers and Negative Nancy’s is that we know this is ourselves sike ourselves out. None of what we are thinking is actually true and something underlying is bothering us and we need to get to the root of it.

Things made be a little rough but you know that you will always make the harder choice of CHOOSING to be happy. It is not one that comes naturally. It’s the conscious choice we make every day to live our lives looking on the bright side of shitty situations.

Have you made the hard choice?

Until Next Time, Have a Great day!

happiness the harder choice

64 thoughts on “4 Reasons why happiness is always the harder choice

  1. Many happy people realize happiness is a choice and it’s up to them to intentionally choose it every single day. Happy people are not held hostage by their circumstances and they do not seek happiness in people or possessions.

  2. Happiness is an inside job 🙂 It comes from within us and you’re right it may be hard to find it in tough situations but it is not impossible to find it. We can find from little things

  3. I think the societies we live in tend to suppress happiness, making it harder to seem to achieve, but also hormone fluctuations make the feeling of happiness hard to maintain some days. In my case, if I keep my envionment one that makes me feel peaceful or calm, I feel happiness can be easier to attain and maintain, even when I am feeling down.

  4. Happiness is a choice. It’s really a hard choice especially if you are in a bad situation. However, like what you are saying, that it also depends on your mindset. Change it for the better. It will surely change everything. Your sorrows and problems will fade away. Choose happiness, always.

    1. When you feel yourself being a negative nancy, stop and think is this really worth it being upset. When you that pause and think you can change your mindset. It is not going to happen overnight, but as long as you are self-aware and think before reacting. You will be golden.

  5. I’m sorry you had bad days but I’m sure you got good days ahead. I agree it’s a choice and sometimes, it means we have to work for it. Great tips. Thank you for sharing!

  6. This was an awesome read! This past year I’ve found my self learning to choose the happy path instead. It is work, but its so worth it! Thanks for writing this.

  7. For me, it is hard to find esteem as I want people to tell me what I did good or bad. I am happy when people see what I did good at. I feel like I am on track when people are happy.

    1. Aisasami, I feel you on seeking validation, but in the end, you need to do what makes you happy. No one can tell you what makes you happy. You need to figure that out and then go after it with full force.

  8. You make some good points here Michele, I do believe that you can “choose” To be happy but it’s a lot harder than it may seem for a lot of persons in really hard situation

    1. It is true, it is a lot harder for some. But as long as you are self-aware that you have a choice. YOu can choose to feel your feelings and be down in the dumnps, but don’t let a little hiccup keep you in such a dark place for long. That is why happiness is the harder choice. It is so damn easy to just be mad at everything. It takes real strength to say “not today sadness”.

  9. I once read a book about true happiness and it comes from within and I always believe on that. Although, it is a harder choice for some it is always the good choice.

  10. I agree happiness is a harder choice, it’s hard when it means giving up on everything you believe in, we often don’t like leaving our comfort zones.

  11. It can be hard looking on the bright side, and we all do have our negative days. Choosing to be happy can be tough. I try to think positively.

    1. It can be hard. Especially when you are used to choosing the negative path. But when you actually stop yourself and think about it. YOu catch yourself reverting back to being a negative Nancy. You can start to change your mindset and choose happiness when things don’t go your way.

    1. It’s not about sticking to the choice. No one is happy all the time. This is more about when you are faced with a situation it is always easier to have a pity party, think negatively and hate on everything. When you are so used to doing that… Happiness is the harder choice. You don’t think you deserve it.

  12. I guess everything comes at a price and it doesn’t mean happiness doesn’t require effort and work. We will have to stay resilient and positive in the process, and never look back ~? – Knycx Journeying

    1. Oh, 100% happiness requires effort. When you are so used to being and thinking a certain way it will take a lot of effort on your part to change the way you think and act.

  13. Fear of leaving your comfort zone is a big one for me! Sometimes I am able to do it, but sometimes the fear definitely holds me back. This was a very interesting read.

    1. What fear do you have, Sarah? The fear of what people will think of you or say about you? You need to live your life for yourself. You do not owe anyone anything. The only person you owe in this life is yourself.

  14. such a clear perspective post, Happiness is the harder choice”. Explain to me how…? .this statement, i never ever thought to stop and think about. But as I read your blog post it made me think about so many aspects that you have bought put; Bookmarking this for repeated reading

    1. Aww, thank you, Sumit. I am glad that I made you stop and think. I know it took me by surprise when I read that line in the book I am reading. That was my initial reaction, “Explain to me how..?” Once I took a step back I saw that anytime I feeling a certain way I always resort to being a negative Nancy and I don’t want that anymore.

  15. This is such a very deep and insightful piece of writing. Love although it might be hard at times, it is truly worth it in the end. One might even say that the hardships one endures in the pursuit of love are what makes it all the more worth it.

    1. I hear ya, Lyosha. I have been thinking about this since I read it and all week since I have posted this. Changing my mindset to choose happiness even when it is hard is a complete game changer.

  16. making a good decision sometimes may hurt yourself or someone else..when my 2 months vacation is over and about time to work again on the cruise as ship…its very hard for me and my family to let go each other again…but I had to support them by working overseas wich is a good decision for me so I can support them…for the past 20 yrs I am doing it..i always hide them my loneliness when they go with me at the airport..but when the airplane takes off that’s the time I start crying

    1. I understand your loneliness Kenneth, but I am 100% sure your family supports you no matter what and I do hope you talk to your wife about how you are feeling. Just so she can assure you that you are not alone. I am sure there are times that she feels the same way with you gone even though the kids are there. It’s not the same.

  17. Also, I feel like people don’t want to be happy. There will be some people who will want you to be, but not the people who you spend your day around, especially coworkers.

    1. Those damn co-workers. Aisasami, Kill them with kindness. I know it sounds stupid, but choosing happiness & light just pisses some people off because you have something they don’t. It makes them uncomfortable with how happy you are because it forces them to think about their life/ choices and some people are not ready for that. You live authentically you and ignore others. You will feel a weight come off of your shoulders.

  18. It’s all about our perspective on being happy. happiness is everywhere, all we have to do is see! it’s not hard choice if we realise that fact.👍🏻

  19. I am recently felt very stressed & unhappy at work, so truly agreeable to your point that during this negative situation, actually much easier to fall into the situation that happiness is the harder choice, it’s not easy at times to pull self out from the thiking of being negative & hate things around me. cheers, siennylovesdrawing

  20. Great read! Even I do felt stress and unhappiness most of the time. But when I started to think that I made it this far, I started to gain more confidence in myself not to give up and think positive thoughts. Surrounding yourself with happy and positive people can make you feel happy too!

    1. My mind has always gone to the worst-case scenario. I have always had the worst mindset. Choosing happiness has not been easy. It takes courage and strength to stop yourself in your own track and correct yourself.

  21. I love that you included support in this list. I don’t have a lot of support and some days it really gets me down. People often take it for granted.

  22. It’s an individual thing. Some people can simply let go of things easier. And some of us are naturally happier people. We need to look at the positives rather than the negatives more.

    1. It is an individual thing, but you are looking to be more positive in your life… it has to start with your mindset. Which is why happiness is always the harder choice. It is very easy to bask in the negative parts of your life. It takes courage and strength to change your mindset and normal response.

  23. This is so very true, it’s not easy at to pull self out negative thoughts. Happiness is everywhere if we decide to see it.

    1. It is not easy. I still fall into the “Woe is me” mindset and quickly have to shut it down. It is an ongoing process since you spent however many years living like that. Changing your mindset does not happen overnight.

  24. great post and valuable point. I agree: it is always harder to choose happiness. I often that’s because we’ve been taught even as kids to be good, convenient, obedient, smart or whatever but not happy. Happiness mostly is just cast away

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